Wishing you all a Groovy New Year!

So we have a new picture of Esther and I just love how it shows her contagious smile and beautiful face. I so missed her this past holiday and there was not a minute I was not thinking of her. I know she is doing fine with Violet and Devota's family, but as my child it hurts that she is not here with us. I have been really thinking of the next step and can not wait for the new year to get back to a game plan. I have not given up and will continue to hope. This time around I promised myself not to get my hopes up, but in reality I can not do that. Still everyday I hold out hope and every night I am disappointed. Does it still consume me? Yes very much, but this year has made me stronger and I am able to go on day to day. I also sat back and felt very blessed this year for the family we do have together and all the love we have for one another. The twins are getting so big and my kids are having more fun each Christmas. Santa Claus actually wrote Glacier a letter and she is still chatting about it. It seems as everyone got their wishes. This year I had the family make wishes and stick them in ornaments so next year we can see if they have been granted. I am sure you can all guess what one of mine is. Oma and Glacier both wished for snow and on Christmas Day our houses were dusted with a beautiful light snow fall. So, it was a wonderful holiday for the Raymond's and we are now off to our annual ski vacation at the cabin. I am looking forward to the New Year and can not wait for what will happen. Keep your fingers crossed that our sweet Esther will someday be here with her family. I hope you all had a great Christmas and will have an even more fun New Years. be Safe and take care of one another. We loved every one's holiday cards and once again was reminded of what a wonderful amount of friends and family we have. Our love to all of you and HAPPY 2008!

Dear Santa, Please deliver Esther to us!

Well, the holiday is almost here and we are very excited. The kids are getting out of school on Friday and they are just besides themselves. It is kind of a sad Christmas this year as we had many dreams of our Christmas this year with our sweet Esther. But as we are learning is that things just do not always happen as you plan. We are making the best of it and will miss her each minute of the holiday season. I have had many sad moments this past week , but I know she knows we love her and that she will someday be celebrating with us in the future. I have explored the world of the blogs and have found some wonderful caring human beings that are adopting out of Ethiopia and a very caring couple who are trying from Guatemala. There have been great moments for some of them as they have gotten their referrals for a child and some very heartbreaking ones who are still waiting for immigration approval. As you understand we feel for those who are hurting as our journey down the adoption path has been far from perfect and very heartbreaking. Please send your prayers to our new friends and so they can heal as much as they can and enjoy the holiday season with some peace. I do know how it feels to not be able to be with your child on these family occasions. On the brighter side of the Raymond household, we are very excited for our time with the twins, Aunt Eve and Uncle Eric, Oma and Opa. We have been practicing our lip sync and are ready for the day. Although last night Glacier replaced me in the family band and Aunt Eve now gets to be there in my place. I did like Aunt Eve, once, but she is staring to get lower on my list. Smile...Smile! We wish you all a very Merry Christmas and we hope your New year is full of great new journeys and great Peace. We love you all and thank you again for your great support this year through our trying times. Please send out your positive thoughts to our Esther, and our prayers to those who too are missing a loved one this holiday season.

My other brother from a different mother!

Okay, so I wanted to just talk to you about another new member of our family. My parents sponsor a boy named Robert in Rwanda and are sending him to college. He holds a very special place in our hearts as he is not just a wonderful person with a lot of compassion and love, but he has been a great support for Esther and our family through the whole process. When Esther was taken off the streets he was living in the same home as she ending up in. They became great friends and he has continued to be a big brother to her. He traveled with my parents during all their past trips to visit with Esther's family and recently took me to visit the father and her siblings. He is the one I rely on the most to continue to be the rock for Esther in Rwanda. She calls him when she needs to and he is constantly reassuring her of our love and Gods plan. He has no family in Rwanda and so I asking that everyone send a little prayer for him during the holiday season. We love him very much and he is truly my new brother. The funny thing is that he reminds me a lot of Eric, except his coloring is a slight bit darker. They both have that funny personality, the caring ways towards family and the likability factor. I know that the two would get along great. So my dear brother Robert, if you are reading this, please know that I thank you so much for all you do for Esther and our family. I also want you to know how much we all love you and I think of you everyday. Stay on the right track and continue to be yourself. You truly are part of our family.

Aching but full heart...

Well, I figured that since I have a little time I better blog some. It has been crazy since we returned and we are all in the midst of getting ready for the holidays. I must say I miss Esther very much and think of her every day. It was such a wonderful trip, but now that I have had some great quality time with her it makes my heart ache even more being so far away. I spent two weeks with her loving on me and the physical contact I miss the most. everyone keeps asking me what the next step is and I ma just not sure. After the holidays I plan on writing a letter to the Prime Minister and the President of Rwanda. This may not do much for our case, but it will be another step in the process of not giving up. But my trip was very healing and it really solidified to me just how much Esther truly is part of our family. She felt like my daughter and that is something no one can take away. It is hard to explain how someone so far away and so different could feel like family, but it truly works that way. God has placed her in our hearts and we are so happy for it. Leaving her was so sad and I must say it was not my most favorite day. But I knew that soon I would be seeing my family in America, so that helped some. She cried very hard and I knew that her heart was aching. She hugged Oma so hard that day and I could see the love she truly felt for my mom. They have been through so much together and they are truly Oma and granddaughter. So today m,y heart is aching for missing Esther and I am asking everyone to continue to pray for our journey. Everyone has been so supportive and i am so thankful to you all. A few days ago I got some Christmas gifts in the mail from my cousin Todd and his family. There was a gift also for Esther. My heart was very full for now I know that she has touched our whole families lives and I feel so proud to have family that is embracing her and our new journey in life. Again thank you to all and know that she feels all the love from her extended family her in America and someday I promise she will meet you all face to face. For now I ma sitting by waiting for God to show me his plan. Until then...love to you all.

Go Storm!

GO STORM! I am so proud of all the third grade girls and so sad I have not been at the games. Galcier is so happy talking about your games and I know that you are all doing your best. I have seen you all improve so much this season and my heart if full. You are wonderful little girls and I can not wait to hug you all. I am keeping our little Emma in my prayers and I know she is a tough little girl with alot of love. We love you very much Emma and know that we are all parying for you to feel better. I love each and everyone of you and know you will do great tonight.

I thought of you all when I took this picture. This is the net they use to play volleyball here in Rwanda. It makes you thankful for all we have in America. Play Hard!

My sisters!

This is a picture of my 13 new sisters at the camp we were feeding. I have grown to love them so much and will miss them all. I spoke to Glacier and Canyon this morning and they were very tired. It seems like it has been a tough couple of days and I think they are ready for their mommy to come home. I am too am so ready to see them and everyone. I want to thank everyone for watching after them and for giving them comfort while I am away. I especailly want to thank my sister in law Eve. I love you so much and appreciate all that you have done. During my trip I often worried that although they love their daddy, Opa and Uncle. They really yearn for that mother figure. With both Oma and I gone, I knew it woud be hard on them. But my sweet sister you have been that for them and I love you so much for that. We have been friends for so many years and have gone through so much together. I truly feel you are my sister and I can not wait to have coffee and tell you what a wonderful new relationship I have developed with all the girls in the Esther Home. I have told them all about you and about your kind heart and how they are also lucky to have such a wonderful sister like you as their extended family. You are a awesome aunt, my special friend and a wonderful mother, but most of all to me you are my favorite sister. Thank you again and remember how much I love you.

To my goofy little brother

This day that I am writing about was truly an act of God's. My mom and dad spent $4000 to buy a truck full of beans and corn meal to go to the refugees that come from Tanzania. There are over 1000 of them living there and it is far back into the country side. The rain made the dirt roads extremely muddy and so we were all praying that our trip would not be wasted. The truck was as big as an american dump truck and was full of bags of food. These people have not recieved food in three months and it was wonderful to be a part of easing some of their suffering.

There were many special moments this day, but none can compare to that of Maria seeing her brother after a few weeks of being at the Esther Home. Maria and her brother are orphans who together have survived and put themselves through school. They have lived in many different places like this camp and have ended up amongst these people we were feeding. Their camp was amazing and you could see the partnership they had in making it a beautiful home. She lit up as we were walking to her part of the camp and my heart grew warm as I understood her love for her only sibling. It made me think of the special relationship I have with Eric. We have not been through the hardship that these two have endured, but we have accomplished many things together and have the same sort of bond. They embraced eachother and never let go. I know that when I am having a tough time that Eric will aways be there to also embrace me and hold me tight. I envisioned those times when I come to work and I am tired or the moments through this adoption process when my hearet was aching. He is always there to crack a funny joke (well he thinks they are funny and so it makes me laugh). He loves me very much and he would always be there to protect me and to provide me a safe environment. I really missed him on this day and thought of him often. It was so sweet to see them so happy to see eachother and to see how proud Maria's brother was of her. It was truly a time to sit back and relish in your love for those who love you and support you. These two wonderful people have had no family for so long and it made me appreciate all that God has given me. I truly love my family and friends and feel very fortunate for them. To my brother, I thank you for being so good to me and for the love and respect you have always shown me. You are truly my hero and I love you more and more everyday.

Bittersweet moments

This day I knew was going to be bittersweet and very trying for me. When we awoke it was pouring and in Rwanda because the roads are made of mud, a rainy day meant trouble. Our plans were to go tp the refugee camp with the Esther Home girls to feed over 1000 refugees. It was also the day I would be saying good bye to Esther for a few days. When we picked her up I could tell her heart was breaking and she sat abnormally close to me on the way to the school. When I was having a hard time with my faith after the Ministers decision I bought a book called "God is in the tough stuff". I gave Esther that book and she read it while we traveled. We did n ot alk much and she spent some time writing a letter to her sweet sister Glacier. She loves Canyon and Glacier so much and she is most sad when she thinks of them. She longs to see them and to be in America with her. Glacier is her little sister and she talk of her so often. I have shown her many pictures of Canyon doing goofy faces and she looks so forward to meeting him and laughing with him. She keeps speaking of how much she wants to see the twins and how much she loves little kids. I showed her some pictures of them and she always asks me what words they speak. I try and go through the whole list and yet I tell her that if she asks Unlce he would say that they are speaking like one million words. She said she is so poud of them to be playing the violin and I tell her how cute they are playing it. She is so bonded with our whole family. She says she knows that Uncle is probably a funny guy, from what she hears from me and from Aunt Eve's pictures she thinks she is a very pretty woman. It breaks my heart when she speaks of them all as I can not express to her the love she would be given and how much they all care for her even from afar. I can see that God has placed these feelings in her heart and that it gives her hope and comfort to talk about them all.

As we approached the school Pastor Emma told me it was time to say goodbye to my daughter. I must tell you I felt neeles go through my heart, but I knew I must be strong. I whispered in her ear that I love her very much and that she must be strong. I told her she must spend this time in Rwanda loving her friends and cherishing each moment she has with the, as when she comes to America she will miss them all very much. told her that God has granted this time for her to do this and that she must be happy and thankful for the time he has given us to be together. Surprisingly, she smiled and was happy. She knew I would be back in a few days and I think she was very anxious to see her friends and to tell them of our time together. As she left the van my heart was aching, but I knew we were off to make a difference in the refugee's lives and that God will take are of her and will help in healing my hurt.

Hope in memory of my Grandma Mary

After a long but wonderful trip to visit Esther's family, we ended the day with deep sleep and were ready for a great day at the Esther Home opening. I knew it was going to be a special day for Mom and was beaming with pride from the early morning. We started our day visiting the mother of my sweet friends Devota and Violate. Devota is a beautiful woman I met last time I was here in Rwanda and we quickly became great friends. She fell in love with my sweet little Glacier while we were here and was such a great "Auntie" to her. She is now married and lives in Indiana and so I get a chance to talk with her often. She was the first mommy to Esther when she came from her Grandmothers in Butare to African New Life. She loves Esther very much and has taken all her efforts to provide her stability here in Rwanda. Violate is her sister and I got the chance to meet her in person for the first time on our trip to see Esther's father. She was the wonderful lady who saw this poor little girl begging on the streets with her grandmother and could see the potential of her. She took her from the streets and saved her life by bringing her to Devota to live in the Kinombe house in Kigali. These ladies will forever be my friends and family and I love them very much. Violate has helped us so many times during this process of adoption and never will I be able to pay her back for her genorosity. During holidays from school the children in the boarding houses that Esther resides with must leave the school and return to their families or friends. Because Esther has nowhere to go, Devota and Violate's mother take Esther in for that time. She has loved her and taken care of her for the last few years and is one of the most loving and kind woman you will ever meet. She has a funny sense of humor and is so welcoming. We got to go greet her when we stopped to pick up the girls for the opening of the Esther Home. She is generally a healthy woman, but as I could see Pastor Emma interpreting for us, you could sense her hearing was not so good. I told her how much Esther loves her and how much I appreciate her taking care of her. You could see tears in her eyes and she told us that her hearing is not so well and that each days her vision is getting worse. She fears soon she will not be able to see and then will not be able to take care of the girls. She also cares for Barbara, her grandchild who lives with Esther. This woman has given all her life to being a great mother, Auntie and grandmother and I could see her heartache as she spoke of this ailment. I was very sad as she reminded me of my late Grandma Mary. I loved Grandma Mary very much and remebered as she started to lose her eye sight, the saddness and helplessness she felt each and every day. My heart was aching and wanted to hold her in my arms and make it all go away. Of course, my dear mother just could not let this go. She too remembers Grandma Mary and the heartache it caused her and extended an invitation to get her to a doctor to see what can be done. The blessings that my mother has shown the people of Rwanda is overwhelming and I can not tell you the new repsect and admiration I have even more for her than before. She is a true humanitarian and just a kind and caring person. So, on Thursday Violate will take grandma to the eyes, nose and Ear doctor here in Kigali and she will hopefully be fitted with some glasses. God is truly present here and we are seeing his work each and every day! Wow!

With love to Mike and Lisa

I want to tell you that it has been such a busy trip and I am just now getting a chance to blog for you all. Time is slow here in Rwanda and places are far between, so our days are long. There are some dear friends of mine in Portland that have been a great support for our family through the Esther adoption. There names are Mike and Lisa and their family partnered with African New Life to start many things. One being the first home that Esther came to from the streets. Mike is like an uncle to her and she, like us, considers them all family. They have fallen in love with all the children in Rwanda, but God has placed a few in their hearts. This photo is for the both of you and I just wanted to let you know that I feel your presence here in Africa and appreciate your loving support and prayers. I wil be returning on Friday to Kayonza and will get a picture of sweet Christine. They are all doing so well and miss and love you all very much. God Bless!

A glimpse of HIS plan!

Today was truly a day that the Lord has made. We traveled very far into the village where Esther's father, sister and brother live. The siblings do not live with him, but fortunate for us they were visiting him today. The brother lives 45 minutes of drive time away from him, yet walks to see him. It takes a good 4 hours of walking to see him and he does it every weekend. Esther spent the long trip cuddled next to me in the van. I do not think she has stopped holding my hand or touching me since we have been together the last few days. Again this is just like my sweet Glacier... a big cuddler! Esther truly loves me as her mommy and everyone around us sees this. I love her so much and am having such a special time with her. Our bond has only gotten closer and our hearts are tightly woven together.

I can not explain to you how it felt to see Esther with her family and to meet them. Her sister is so beautiful and her brother is so handsome. The father was so appreciative and we exchanged many words and prayers about our journeys in life together. He is a very sweet man who loves his children very much and prays for their safety. He was returning from church and around his neck he proudly wore the cross Opa had given him on their last visit. He asked about everyone and said to tell them he loves them. He is an orphan himself and told me that because of this he has no family. but he considers us his blessing and now feel as if for the first time he has a large one. He is so connected to each and every member of my family and even called my brother by his name. He said say hello to the babies, too. I was so touched by how he has invested in learning about us all. Esther was smiling so big and I could see that she loved and missed them all so much. It was a moment for me that solidified what has taken place in this last year. We have brought together a family, that one year ago did not exist, but now is happy and can see that God is providing for them. When I talked to the father about the Minister's decision my little Esther was saddened and tearful. As much as I tell her to be strong or Mommy will cry, her emotions get the best of her and my heart breaks in pieces. We said our goodbyes and again the Glacier came out of Esther. She was hurting so much and just wanted to be left alone. Her usual self of sitting so close to me and cuddling was not there. She did not want to sit next to me and I knew she was hurting. I sat in the back and let the tears stroll down my face. I was so sad, yet much more full of an overwhelming joy. God has shown this family and now me that if you have faith in him and believe in his willingness to a bigger plan, that he will do good. I felt such heartache for my little girl and knew her heart was aching, but I gave her time and space. I have been so strong in those times of sadness when we talk and I could not muster the energy for it at this moment. What can you say in those situations and how do you explain the unexplainable. I wiped my tears after a few minutes and smiled my way through the rest of the day. We stopped for a few moments to get some snacks and I had some time to compose myself. When Esther returned to the van, she immediately sat next to me and whispered in my ear that she loves her mommy. Again, I had to get the strength to not cry. I am so like my father and my emotions are so strong. We spent the rest of the trip laughing, cuddling, and chatting about everything. It was a moment I will never forget and will hold close to my heart forever.



My love for this little girl grows deeper and deeper with each minute of the day and I am trying not to think of the moment I will leave her. This trip has sent me into a state of confusion as I am not convinced that bringing her to America is the right thing to do. She is so loved here and loves her friends and family so much. I know children are resilient, but African love for each other is so different than American and I am still not sure of Gods plan. Maybe there is a reason this is not working out. I do not know, but I am certain now that although I will fight until there is no fight, if it is not meant to be, I will always be her mommy and we will love her just as much as in America.



Please continue to keep us in your prayers and again especially our girl Esther. Her heart is so fragile right now and she will need all the love, support and strength to get through these times.

Rwanda Colors

For those of you who are new to this blog...if you go to the link called African Travelers on the right it will take you to my mom's blog. She is a great writer and will take you through our journey as if you were here. It is www.rwandacolors.blogspot.com . Enjoy and scroll down to see awesome pictures Opa sent us of the Storm Girls!

Just like my Sweet Glacier!

Hello my friends, first I will say I miss you all very much. Yesterday I got to talk with Glacier, Canyon and Rich and it made my heart so full. I wish they were all here with me, everyone has been asking for them. You can tell that Opa has made a true name for himself here in Rwanda. They all talk of him so much and love him so unconditionally. I am so happy they have seen what we all have known for so long. His heart is so big and he has touched so many people here. I am very PROUD! Yesterday was a special day for both Mom and I . We spent the day at The Esther Home and we introduced Esther to them. They treated her like a little sister and promised to take care of her for me. They were excited to see the namesake of the home. I had a lot of fun with the girls and laughed with them. They all are very beautiful and get along so well. Seeing all those girls that age living together as sisters and loving eachother so much teaches me to love my neighbors and friends more unconditionally. We could all benefit from these girls and their contagious kindness. Esther was very proud of the house and although shy a little, she spent some quality time with some. In the afternoon I took Barbara and Esther to the pool here at the hotel. When they walked into the hotel, Esther told Barbara..now is the time to speak our English. They were beaming and you could see the amazement in their eyes. They first got in the elevator and were a little afraid of the movement, but after the first time they could not get enough of it. They both changed into their swimsuits and were very honored to be wearing Glacier's suits. They admire her so much and felt as if it was a gift to be wearing them. They were fearful at first in the pool and my little Esther was just like Glacier and the dogs. She had me sit at the edge of the pool and hold her hand. The part of the pool she was in was no deeper than her knees, but she was so scared she did not want to go in. There are so many things that her and Glacier show a likeness. They have similar personalities and it breaks my heart when I think of what is going on. They would be wonderful friends and sisters in America and I think they would both benefit from each other. I know they would get along great and Esther would be a great big sister to her. Although Glacier would look like the older as Esther is a small little turd. I spent the day talking to her about school, her friends and life in general. Her English is outstanding and you would never imagine we could spend the whole day together without someone to interpret. She talked and talked and talked and talked. Another thing just like my sweet Glacier. At night Glacier would rather chat with me than read books. It was such a special time I had with Esther and I can see now the seed that God has planted in our life. I must say when I left to go on this trip I was trying to convince myself that I was forgiving God, but in my heart I know I really had not. Now my life is changed once again and I believe in his big plan and can see the good that has come out of this whole process. Esther has grown up so much and the love that she has been given and the family she now has is making all her dreams come true. God is so big and I see him in all he is doing.

I gave her the book that the 3rd Grade class has made her and she loves it soooooooo much. She could not wait to sit down and read all the letters they have wrote her. I was amazed today as she told me who the children where and some of what they wrote. She sat in the van and wrote a long letter to the whole class. God has put so many friends into her life and she is bursting with love for each and everyone of you. Barbara said she loves Mrs. Brookes and that she is a very pretty American woman and Esther said she looks like a great teacher. She now has 23 sisters and brothers and can not wait to meet them all. So as you can see we had a wonderful day and our trip has been so life changing. My heart still breaks at times, but I can feel it slowly healing. Seeing Esther and holding her in my arms makes my heart very full. It is going to be very hard leaving her, but I know she is being taken care of here and I have Faith God will provide.

I was so touched to see the comment from my sweet friend Becki. I knew when I left I was so fortunate to have good friends, but I consider you all family and know that you have been praying for us all. I can feel it here in Rwanda and can not wait to come home and share with you.

I will end tonight with a big GO STORM! Rich was so happy and said the team did so good. Oma and I were so sad to have missed it, but I know the girls were on fire.Great job girls and know that I am soooooooo proud of each and everyone of you! Love to all!

Nothing compares to this day!

What a day it was! When I got up this morning I felt like it was going to be a great day. It has been a long time coming and after a year and a half I was getting to finally see Esther and hold her in my arms. The trip was an hour and we spent it having fun conversations with Robert, Joie and Yvonne. We practiced some Kinyarwanda slang and laughed at how funny my African accent was. Robert said his favorite funny slang word in America was Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. It was hilarious hearing it come out of his mouth. It was nice to keep my mind off of the anxiousness of seeing Esther soon.

When we pulled into the driveway of the school I will admit, I felt nauseous and thought maybe I was going to get sick. I guess I always thought the next time I was seeing her would be a happy moment and I knew that although this was going to be a fun day, it was also going to be heartbreaking. I seen her come up the drive and instantly felt a sigh of relief and remembered how much I love her. Of course we hugged super tight and did not let go for a few minutes. I could feel her heart beating and truly felt like her mommy. She of course went to Oma and gave her a big hug. She loves her Oma so much and you could definitely see the bond they have formed in the times that they have been together. Going through what they have together has truly bonded them and the same with her Opa. She then turned to me in her sweet little voice and said in her good English "where is Glacier?" She loves Glacier so much and longs to see her. She then asked about the rest of the family and wanted to know if the twins are getting bigger. We talked to all the kids and Esther showed me her room with her sweet friend Christine. She got her photos out that we gave her and they both pointed to Rich and said in unison "We all love him very much." I responded with " We do too!" Then as they continued they got to the picture we gave her of our family with my cousin Taylor. Christine pointed to her and said " We also love her very much". I think they could tell that she is a sweet soul and they longed to have her as a friend. I was a very proud cousin as I too know what a great person she is. We spent the afternoon teaching them to double dutch and it was fun to see them trying something new. It was hard for them, but some of them we bound and determined to get it. Esther spent the day attached to my hip and I think we held hands the whole time. Many times in the day my heart felt sadness knowing she was not coming home with me, but again I tried to be strong for her and kept reminding her to be patient and keep praying. She broke down a few times, but I know she will be okay. She introduced me to her best friend Sara (who is the girl in the picture) and I instantly fell in love with her. She is so sweet, speaks great English and acts as a big sister for Esther. We ended the day and took Esther and Barbara with us. Barbara (in the picture by herself) is our dear friend Devota and Violets niece and she will stay with us also. It was such a heartfelt day and I am so excited to get to spend more time with Esther this week. Tomorrow off to the Esther home and we will show Esther it for the first time. She is so proud and can not wait to meet the girls. We showed all the kids at the school the picture of Glacier's third grade class and they were all so interested in what kids their age in America look like. Many recognized Glacier and asked me to bring her back. She is someone they all fell in love with and I missed not having her with us.

So, I hope you are all doing well and I miss everyone so much. Please keep us in your prayers and especially Esther as she is hurting and she needs the strength. Lots of Love!

Santa Claus is coming to town!

Wow another wonderful day here in Rwanda. After stewing over the minister and her decision and taking some advise from once again my caring mother, I am really trying hard to not stay in the past but to be positive and move towards the future. Mom has always told us that if you do not let your negative energy go you will not have room for the good energy. This means nothing good will come to you like you expect. So, today was a new day for me and I think I am finally getting past it all. Am I emotional and very disappointed at times? Absolutely, but there is a bigger plan and I am opening up myself to it. We spent the day exhausting ourselves visiting three of the girls homes and families. It was another day full of great friendship and wonderful new experiences. I absolutely love the girls I have met so far and can not wait to meet the rest of them. I can not tell you anymore, what a wonderful opportunity these girls have and yet what they are giving back to me on this trip, they may never know. I now feel like I too have 13 sisters and look forward to our future as family. I wish I could put you all in my suitcase and have brought you here, it again solidifies my love for Rwanda and it's people. Tomorrow we get to go get Esther. My stomach turns each time I think of it and I feel like Santa Clause will be coming tomorrow and I am in third grade. I am so excited, it has been so long and she is the real reason I am here. This trip to Kayonza we will not be visiting the sponsored families, but on Friday next week we will and I am also so excited for that. We are getting a chance to visit Norah for the first time and I plan to have Oma take a ton of pictures. If you do not know about Norah, she is a beautiful 8 year old that Glacier's third grade class is sponsoring. She will now be able to attend school and get a free meal and medical care. They raised $900 at the church bazaar this last weekend and they plan to sponsor her for awhile. She does not know it yet, but her family just got larger and she has 20 or so more brothers and sisters. I love the third grade class and wish I could take them on a field trip all the way here. I can not wait to get back to tell them all about the wonderful work they have done in making a dream of a little girls come true. They are special kids truly full of kindness with a compassionate and loving teacher. Well, I guess I best be going to bed. I have a very emotional and yet fun day ahead. My love to you all and I will keep you in our prayers. And to my dear cousin Sabra...I am so happy you were worried about me and I love you too. Smile smile!

A mother and her cub!

Okay, Well I was going to wait until tomorrow to write but after checking the blog and seeing the amount of people looking, I figured I owed it to you all to write something. Again, it shows me what great support my family and I have and I love you all for it.

It was a long trip and I am so happy to be here. I tend to forget what a beautiful country this is and how kind and caring the people are. They have all once again embraced us like family and I know it will be hard to leave. I wish I could take some home with me. Especially one in particular..hmmm wonder who that could be. Speaking of her, I am so excited as Friday I get to go see her. Although it will be bitter sweet my heart is anxious to see her beautiful face again. It is so much more real being here and seeing how just in this past year her life has changed as she has such a great support of friends who love her and are willing to always love and protect her while we are so far away.

Today was a mellow day...emotional to say the least for me, but light in activity. We started the morning with a meeting and them first stop the "dreaded" Ministers office. Of course she was not there for us to see, but we picked up the response letter. I must say there was a half percent of hope from me that the letter said good things, but deep in my heart I knew better. I watched as my mother took a protective attitude in protecting me and spoke her mind in a caring yet...you hurt my family way. She truly loves me and went out of her comfort zone to stand up for our story. I love her so much and this trip I can see will only bring us closer. I never thought it could be possible, but as I get older we tend to get closer on that deeper woman to woman level. She is one awesome lady.

We met with the lawyer today and decide to go to court to get a judgement that classifies Esther as an orphan. We are sure that this will make the Minister mad and she may sit on our document, but we will be persistent and eventually she will have to respond. Like mom says, at least we will have all our "ducks in a row" when we write to the President. They have not seen the last of us yet. So no real news, but it was a good day. New adventures tomorrow. I am so excited to go see some families of the Esther Home girls. It is a beautiful thing that the Hacketts and my parents are doing and seeing the girls and their families is something that will change me forever. I too dad am very PROUD of my mother.

Well, I will try and write more tomorrow and Joyce will be on hers in more details. Until then, keep us in your prayers and send some to my family at home, I miss them very much and see my little Glacier in everything we do. I definitely brought her in my heart. My love to you all.

INSPI(RED)

Okay well three more days and Mom and I are off to Rwanda. It has been a very crazy week and we have been working our buns off getting everything in order before we go. I am starting to get very excited and anxious at the same time. I promised Esther that the next time she seen my face, I was taking her home. So it is breaking my heart to have to break that promise. But I am excited to shower her with love, plenty of hugs and kisses. She is on school break right now so we will get to spend a lot of quality time with her. I am dreading leaving her there, but my hope is still there that someday she will be coming with me. Until then we will absolutely love her from afar. We will work our hardest to be the best parents and family we can be from many miles away. I will go there and try and show just how many people love her and how big of an extended family she has. I know she is a part of all your lives and I do feel the positive energy and support you all have been sending. We have been so fortunate and grateful for the love and empathy everyone has shown us and it has definitely helped us have some good days in the wake of a lot of bad days. Thank you all! So I hope to document our experience's as we have them in Rwanda. That is the least I can do for all of you who have been so kind. Keep us in your prayers and say some extra ones for those we are leaving behind. I will miss them all so much and plan on using this trip for some good closure. I promised myself that when I return I will continue to fight, but will also put more energy into what we are fortunate to have with us. Love to you all!

Daisy...all in the love of you!

This video is just what I need today and so I thought I would share it with you all. When Glacier and Canyon were small Oma taught Glacier this song and as you can see Buddy tries his take on it. It truly has shown me today to be thankful for what I have been blessed with. Okay so as you may all have noticed it has been a while since I have posted. I will admit that my mood has not been that great lately and so I really did not want to bring everyone into my own funk. But since we have so many supporters and I know there are a lot of friends and family praying for us, I thought I better fill you in on our happenings. So yesterday Mom got an email from the lady who has been our ali in this whole Esther adoption. It said that she is saddened by what has happened and that we should consider the answer a no and that the case is closed. There you have it...as unofficial as it is Rwanda does not want us to adopt Esther. I truly felt it in my stomach that was what the outcome was going to be, but I have held out for some hope. But this is not to say that we are giving up completely. This whole process was not only about the adoption, but about a girl who God had placed into my heart and one who we have all learned to love and support. So we will continue on this part of the crusade and move on. Mom and I will be traveling to Rwanda on the 1st of November to see Esther and to get more information on what our new options are. Rwanda does not know what is going to hit them with us two strong passionate women making our way to continue on our quest. I have been very sad lately and like I stated before my faith has been tested. For a whole year I have put every ounce of energy I have to make this possible, I followed all the rules, I treaded lightly because of it being a third world country and now I have been defeated. But only on this aspect of things, I am now picking myself up and making a new plan and hoping to make a change for the better. Esther will always be my little girl and she will always be a part of our family. She may need to be 18 and come over her self, but we will be damn sure that we will include her and take care of her, even with such distance. So for now, I want to thank you all for your continued support and know that we are not done fighting. Please pray for my family as the kids, like us, are having a hard time understanding. But also please pray for Esther as she needs our strength right now. And the last thing I would like to ask soem special prayers for my mom. If you are a mother or a parent yourself you should know how it is to see your children hurting. She has been my rock through this all and I now she could use some strength for this also. She is an amazing woman and her passion for her faith and her family helps me keep going and waking up with a purpose. I love you all.

Sweet Glacier sharing Faith

So another random photo, but for me it is really appropriate for my mood today. No words yet on the Esther adoption. It is hard to understand because here for us a week of not knowing is a long time, but in Rwanda it is just a normal time span for them. So being patient is the key to this all. But, in a situation like this and having to be patient for a year... my patience is running thin. Yesterday, I had a great talk with my mom about keeping my faith and not losing it in this time of hardship. As a young believer this concept is VERY hard for me. She is much more stable when it comes to this and all she has been through has solidified how important it is to keep your faith. Like she told me, when all else falls apart, then you will only have your faith to fall back on and if you let go of it then what would you be left with? Am I fully back to my beliefs, today maybe...tomorrow maybe not so much. I am so tested and I am so sad about it all, so that being said there are still good days and more bad days, but with my families support I am continuing to move along. So, this picture is important to me today as it is Glacier's first Communion photo. It was such a wonderful day and we are so proud of her for this important achievement. She reminds me to be happy and to believe in the big plan. What that is...I still questions and like mom told me yesterday, I may not know for years ahead. But today I am keeping the faith and smiling at our sweet little Glacier. I will remember to be strong for them and for Esther. My heart hurts for her the most, but I love her and I hope that she feels that so far away. So together let's keep our faith and send our positive energy to her. And in your prayers, pray for the minister to have a change of heart and to view this like we do.

Simple joys....

This picture is old, but I really love it and wanted to share it with you. It is so touching and really makes you appreciate each moment and how quick our kids grow and change. Never will there be a moment again this serene and quiet. This picture also shows just how much Oma and Opa love their grandchildren. They are now home and really missed everyone, especially the little ones. Oma already called the kids this morning before school...she has definitely been having withdrawals. It is so nice to have them back and to hear about their trip. They are such wonderful people and have done so much for the people of Rwanda and they love them all so much. I am still really sad about the whole Esther situation, but they keep so positive and keep reminding me that we will keep being persistent. It really comes closer to home to hear them tell the stories in person, and breaks my heart each time, but like my little cousin, Lucky,told me...chin up...so I will keep my chin up! Well, not much more to say today, just thought I would blog to tell you all that the African travelers are back and safe. Remember to cherish each moments like these pictures and reflect on what God has blessed us all with. i am so thankful to have so much support and such a great family. And lastly, if my dear sweet cousin Jackie is reading this...I love you very much and your family and thank you for being such a kind and compassionate woman...and because you are a tiny bit older than me, I can truly say you inspire me to be a better person and I look up to you as a great role model to be a wonderful mother, friend, cousin, and woman. Remember those simple joys...

Ehhhh! Sit on it Potzie!

So, as you can see not much has been happening around our home. Glacier had a volleyball game on Saturday and they won all three matches! She did so good and even made some points. She is kind of obsessed as we spent the whole day at the gym watching all the teams. But it was fun just spending the day with her doing something she likes. She has never really taken a strong liking to anything but Africa so it is nice to see her into it. Buddy boy spent the game eating candy and Frito's, so needless to say he was a delight.

Not much in Esther land either. My sweet mom went to the minister's office today by herself and I am sure took her kindness with her. It sounds as if she has made a positive impression for us and I am sure if anything they now see how much this means to us and hopefully will find some compassion in it all. For now we are waiting again. My mood and attitude has changed in the last few days over this...I am now mad about the whole thing and determined to fight for Esther. So watch out Mr. Rwanda president...I am hoping to make a lifetime story about how I go to the legislature and change the laws. (in my dreams I know, but I want this so bad). So for now, just keep sending the positive energy and we will continue to wait.

I am so excited to see mom and dad back in the US. we will be picking them up late Wednesday night. Pray that they have a save trip.

Until then...ehhhh! Stay cool like the FONZ!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uISuvTiTYJA

This is so funny and will make those who are new parents feel better and those that are seasoned parents glad it is over! Enjoy

Giggles from the past!

So, yeah tomorrow is Friday! Well, we have not heard any news as of yet over the Esther thing...some say NO NEWS IS GOOD NEWS..but for me with dealing with RWANDA it means things just might not be moving. Oh Well, anyways not much has been going on in the last few days. I have tried to keep busy to keep my mind off of the whole thing. A friend said yesterday that I seemed like I was handling it very well as she would be a basket case. I have been there and there are still times during each day, but it was nice to hear that I am showing strength in all this. I promised Mom and Dad I would be strong and I feel for all they are doing for me, I better uphold my end of the bargain.

I was looking at some old pictures of the kids today and came across some really cute ones. Canyon and Cuz'n Bryley will probably kill me when they get older. But by that time there will be some kind of new technology and this blog will be a thing of the past. I hope these bring you the chuckles that I got. It is a great start to the weekend and reminds me to be thankful for all I have and to cherish each moment. they grow up so fast and those old days are now just a distant memory. I encourage you to pull out those old pictures and giggle at what is the past. It is a good mood booster. Again thank you all for being so supportive and loving. I love you all so much!

Staying strong!

Oh, well today is a new day and I am feeling a bit better. Especially after coming to work to see some beautiful flowers on my desk sent by my sweet cuz'ns Beth and Sabra. I love you both so much and thank you! Life is so trying sometimes, but I guess it just makes you stronger. Here is my funny story for the day...last night Glacier came home from school and was telling me how excited she was to tell her teacher and friends that Esther's father has agreed to the adoption. My heart was aching all day knowing that I would have to tell her that things just are not going as planned. Anyways, so as she was telling me her wonderful news I interrupted her with "Glacier, now we have run into some more bumps in the road and..." Immediately she interrupts me and says in her ever so kind and sweet voice, "I know, I know...more Damn paperwork." I smiled and actually chuckled through it. She has definitely seen the frustrations we have been going through and it was her way of letting us know that she too is getting frustrated. To hear those words come out of her mouth, made me realize the effect this is also having on her. Glacier is not one to curse...Canyon he actually kind of enjoys it on occasion...so to hear her use the word damn just made me giggle. I agree Miss Glacier....this process has been really Damn hard. Excuse my French :) But the Raymond and Pepos family is going to pick ourselves up and be blessed for what we have. We are strong and will just get stronger. Have a great day everyone and look in your own backyards to appreciate all that you too are given.

Trying to hold my head up high today...

This picture is a great representation of just how I am feeling today. Man let me tell you the emotional roller coaster this adoption has brought us is both draining and a test of faith. So although it was such a great day yesterday when we found Esther's father and he agreed to the adoption, we have run into yet another "bump in the road". To make a long story short, the minister is claiming now that since he is out of prison, of sound mind and okay physical health, then he should take care of her. I would love to see a the all American/African dream of a father who gets a great job, nice house and food on the table, so he can take care of all his children. Send them all to college for a great education and provide them with a stable, loving family environment. But the reality of it is not there. Am I heartbroken today? Absolutely! Do I want her to come here to America? Absolutely! I just want what is best for Esther. She has endured so much in her little life, she is strong, kind and beautiful girl who deserve only the best life can give her. What that is...I am questioning. But I am giving it to God once again and hoping and praying he does the best for her. Even if it breaks our hearts, she will always be my little girl and will be a part of our family. But, Dad said it is not over until the fat lady sings and if he has to write to president of Rwanda he will. If you know anything about the Pepos family...there is a lot of truth to that. Again keep us in your prayers and thoughts and cross those fingers and toes for it all to be fine. I can not wait to get off this roller coaster. I never did particularly like them anyways. Love to you all!

A great day to remember!

I chose this picture because it shows you just how great of a family we have. We all dressed as Pirates for Canyon's 6 year old birthday party. The things we do for the ones we love. There is nothing our family would not do for eachother...even if it means dressing up. Arrg! Look out Esther you are joining a crazy clan. (Crazy cuz'n Taylor included)

So today is a great day for the Raymond and Pepos families. I must admit I did not get much sleep last night..if any. I knew that while I slept my wonderful parents would be on the search with Esther to find her father. It is not like you can look up his address on Yahoo and map quest it, so the journey is a difficult one. But definitely not one my folks can not handle. I finally got out of bed at 5:30 and paced until about 6:45 and then got in my car, with bad hair and sweats , and drove to my parents house to call.(my comcast phone does not allow international calls) When I got a hold of them dad answered and told me that yes in deed Esther's father gave permission for us to adopt her. I can not tell you the emotions that filled my heart. Then dad gave the phone to Esther...my heart was racing and I was a bit nervous. I wanted to say so much to her, but knew that although her English is better, it is still very limited. But to hear her voice after a year made my heart fill with love and joy. She sounded just as beautiful as I remember and it made it all seem so much more real. Today is truly one of the best days of my life. I then got to talk with Mom who told me that Esther's father was also in the car and that they were taking him to the city so he can visit with the Minister tomorrow to grant permission in person. I then screamed and could not hold back my emotions. Of course, mom said do not cry, but it was tears of extreme relief and lots of joy. So hopefully by tomorrow the papers will be approved and she will be coming home soon.

Thank you all so much for being such a great support. Especially Eric, Eve, Cedar and Eden for letting me wake them up. I wanted to share the news with someone so I knocked on their door early this morning. I did bring coffee as a peace offering and they were more than welcoming. I love you all so much and want you to know that I appreciate all the prayers and positive energy that has been sent our way. We are getting closer and Esther is a lucky girl to have all of you as her friends and family. So have a great day today and be thankful for all we have. God is bigger than I ever imagined.

Can he be anymore crazier?

Why is it that I have so many pictures of Crazy Canyon making silly faces. Usually when I see these I say he takes after his father...but I must admit, it is more my personality coming out of him. He just makes me smile so much and today as I was searching for a fun picture to put up, I found this and it made me laugh. He brings such fun to our lives and again keeps life so simple. Hooray for Buddy boy! We hope this makes you giggle like it does us.

Yeah for our Team Captain # 5 !

Meet the two Captains of today's game...Glacier and Sophia! We are so proud of the girls today. In CYO you play the best of three games. we lost the first one...but WON the second one. Needless to say we did lose the third, so they won the match. But they all had fun and so did us parents. Our team definitely is the most spirited. Every girl was so supportive of their other team mates and they got so excited that the other team would plug there ears from all the excitement. They were definitely not taking it too serious, but still were very focused and played great! We were put in the high league and so some of the girl on the other team were fourth graders and have played before. So our girls did great as a new team. It is all about fun anyways. So Yeah for the Storm! Our games have just begun!

Bump Set Spike it!

So, I talked to Mom and Dad and they told me they seen Esther. They said she looks great and that her English is doing well. She of course was confused to why Rich and I were not here and so Opa had to break the news to her about what is going on. He gave her the "do you want the good news first or the bad news?" He has always started things this way so she best be getting used to it. :) So he explained the situation to her and she said she is positive that her father will not refuse. Mom said she is so confident about it and that she has to be her own advocate. That being said we will see what transpires on Sunday when they go see him with Esther. I am so blessed to have such wonderful parents and to have this opportunity to have Africa and Esther in our lives. So today I am sending out positive energy to them and Esther's father. Please continue to send those positive thoughts their way. My heart is full today knowing she is so happy to see mom and dad and to come be with us.

On the other side of the world, here in Portland Oregon, we are gearing up for Glacier's first volleyball game tomorrow. She is so excited and a bit nervous, but she is a great player, the best as far as her mom is concerned. Wish her luck and I will post a picture of her in her fancy uniform. Go Storm! I am a very very proud mama!

Aaah...I just hugged myself

Wow, it is 6:15 Friday morning right now in Rwanda. 8 Pm Thursday night here in Portland. My stomach is in butterflies as I am thinking that in a few hours Oma and Opa get to see and hug Esther. Oh how I wish I was there, it has been over a year and I am just yearning to take her in my arms. But if there is anyone in this world I would love for her to hug is my mom. Her hugs are powerful and so full of positive energy and I know Esther feels that when she sees her. And Dad well, if you have ever hugged him, it is always so tight and genuine. I am so anxious for her to meet our dear friends Dan and Bunny, who went to Rwanda with mom and dad. She is such a special girl and they have been so supportive. I am sure meeting each other will change them all forever. Rwanda is a powerful place and I am anxious to reap the energy again. So reach out and give someone a hug today...even if it is yourself.

I want to be 6 again...

I just love this picture. Every time I look at it it reminds me not to take life so serious. I am finally starting to feel better and my mood is slowly changing regarding the Esther situation. Mom and Dad are now in Rwanda and will go and see Esther tomorrow. I am so excited to hear how she is doing and so excited for Mom and Dad to be able to see her. There is a link under my favorite Blogs to their blog. Mom is trying to write everyday so please take some time to view it. Sunday they will travel with Esther to Bu tare to see her father and to make sure he is still willing to let us adopt her. I am planning on spending my weekend cleaning as to keep busy and my mind off of it all. Please keep thinking of us and cross your fingers and toes. And when your days seem stressful and hectic...think of this picture and our funny guy Canyon, who obviously does not take life too serious. Oh how it would be to be 6 again.

We want to welcome You...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aeggGFHF-v8


Okay, so I am on a roll and just thought I would post a small thing that keeps me going when days are frustrating over the Esther adoption. A lot of you are asking what the father getting out of jail means. My answer is...your guess is as good as mine. We need to get another letter form him getting permission as the last one was not as "strong" as the Rwanda ministry would like. So, Mom and Dad will be going to find him in Rwanda and to get him to write a new one. now that he is out of jail, he could change his mind, or he could still feel it is a blessing for Esther to be adopted. who know, but for know we wait and pray God will give us hat we dream of. that being said please take a minute to visit this You Tube perform ace by Esther and her friends. My dear friends Mike and Lisa went and visited Rwanda and this was presented to there mission team. I think I am going to make this a popular you tube sight as I do look at it everyday for a reminder of why I am putting my family through all the ups and downs. Esther is the one singing the chorus and is in the red shirt. Enjoy and remember to be thankful for all we have.

If Googling is stalking...then call me a stalker!

So tell me is googling someone really considered stalking? If so then call me a stalker. I know I have been slacking on the blogging, and i am sorry, but I do not remember anywhere in the "what to expect when you are expecting" book that tells about the mother getting the colds worse than the kids. But that is what happened. I have been down for the count this weekend and am slowly recovering. Maybe I am getting older and my body just can not fight it off as well, but I must say it has been a duzzy.

Anyway, back to my stalking...To make a long story short, on Friday, after having such a trying week, I saw an old friend that I had been thinking of for over 15 years. Yes, at one point I did Google his name to see what I could find and just did not ever follow through on my leads. I guess I was not sure what his life entailed and knew that if it was meant to be our meeting would happen. So it did.

My friend, Aaron, was one of those people who has made a difference in your life, but probably does not know it. When we met in college, we were definitely living two different lifestyles. Me? I was the girl in the flowered skirt and Tie dyed shirt in front of the Federal building with a sign reading "No Blood for Oil", and he was picking me up in his 1964 blue bumping Impala. I know he is biting his lip right now, as I may have gotten the year wrong on his ride. He loved that thing more than life itself sometimes. But with our differences, we became great friends. The best in fact. He was the first person who really showed me the concept of "One World...One Love". He was and I am sure still is one of the kindest and non judgemental people I have ever met.

When I left college to go to Montana, I always wondered if it was the right decision or just my Gypsy ways leading me to new adventures. Either way Aaron supported me and told me to follow my heart and to go with confidence. He was my true friend and I have always been grateful for his love and support. We lost touch a few years after I moved...he met a great woman named Nicole, who he fell deeply in love with and I met Rich, whom I fell deeply in love with. Now Aaron is a father of two cute children and is married to Nicole, who is as beautiful as the first day I met her. My heart is filled with wonder on why our meeting has happened on this day, but for whatever reason it has renewed my faith about sending out positive energy and has brought back those wonderful memories that I have always held so dear.

So my advise for you all this morning is...start stalking that long lost friend. It really is all you imagine it to be, a part of your past, that can never be replaced. If my friend Aaron ever visits this sight, know I love you still very much and will continue to send positive energy to you and your family.

My trip down the Runway!

So, as you probably read, yesterday was definitely not one of my best days. But today I have started a new day and feel a slight bit better. I am suffering from a small bit of guilt for not being happy for Esther and her father, maybe a bit selfish I know, but I love her so much and now am uncertain on what lies ahead.

But I am so blessed to have my family and their support. Last night Glacier, Canyon and I were watching Project Runway...for those who do not know I am a huge fan of reality TV. Basically it is a show about up and coming clothing designers. Anyhoo, they were having a fashion show and we were all acting as if we were fashion connoisseur. I made a comment that I really liked a certain outfit and my sweet son, Canyon, responded with a " I like it too, but it does not look as good on her as it would you". Oh yes, I love that kid and I must say it brought me out of my funk and back into the wonderful reality of what I already am blessed with. So, today I start the day being thankful for what God has given me and praying for Esther and her father and what he is about to give them. Hope you all have a great day, and remember on those bad days.."it doesn't look as good on her as it would on you." :)

Some things are just not in our control

Well, how do I start this? Hmmm...I had great intentions of coming in today to tell you what wonderful things have happened in the last couple days regarding Esther. We went to a banquet for our friends non-profit organization-Ten Talent, Int-this week and were greeted so warmly with people who have met Esther and have been touched by her. We truly felt blessed to be around so many people who love her and who are waiting with us for the "World to Change". (Been listening to the John Mayer CD so my inspiration comes from that.) Her presence was so apparent there and it helped once again solidify what we are doing. Not a day goes by where she is not talked about and she floods my thoughts each minute. We truly are blessed to have so many friends and family supporting us and loving from a far...Esther.

So that being said today I came in and got some news that could be taken in many different ways. Mom received an email today from the director of the orphanage that Esther's older brother stays. He informed us that yesterday Esther's father who after 13 years was released from prison had been to see his son. My initial reaction was to hyperventilate and flood with tears. I felt a loss like I have never felt before and could not catch my breathe. What have we done to deserve this? We love her so much and what is God trying to tell us? I am so thankful for my family...especially today. My sweet, strong and compassionate mother came to me with nothing but positive energy. She told me to continue to fight, to not lose Hope and to first and for most not take it personal and believe God is not doing me any harm. My faith is being so tested these past few months and today is no different. But as I think about what God is telling me and how big he really is, I am thinking so much clearer. There is so many things circling in my mind...maybe now Esther can meet her Dad for the first time and not have to carry around the burden of him being in prison. There are so many maybes...but one thing is clear we will continue to fight, we will continue to hope, we will continue to pray...and we will do anything we need to to make sure Esther is getting the best. Whatever God chooses...we will keep on that path.

So to finish it all up...I thank you all so much for your support and I do feel the energy you are all sending us. We love you all and keep us in your prayers and thoughts. And again first and for most keep Esther in your prayers, for a 13 year old girl I can only imagine what emotionally is going through her head.

Happy Birthday...Times Two

Well, what a wonderfully exciting day, my sweet little niece and nephew turn two. They have grown up so much in the past year and it has been so fun watching them grow into their own little personalities. We called them early this morning to sing happy birthday and at the end little "CC" yelled..."MY DAY". That is right little man it is YOUR day. We are all so excited to watch them sprout in the next year. Every time we are around them it seems they are talking more and more and getting more comfortable with us all. Each time little Cedar flashes that contagious smile and Miss Eden gives us the shy flirtatious grin, my heart is filled to the rim. We all love them so much and look forward to celebrating their growth this year. Happy Birthday my loves!

The start of something new

Today is the first day of our new blog. I always said that I would probably never have a blog, but as life seems to get more busy and a bit more complicated, it is going to be nice to let our family into our lives and what we have been doing. We appreciate everyones support with our adoption of Esther and want to thank you all by keeping you updated. So hurray for technology and I hope you enjoy our new form of communication.