Bittersweet moments

This day I knew was going to be bittersweet and very trying for me. When we awoke it was pouring and in Rwanda because the roads are made of mud, a rainy day meant trouble. Our plans were to go tp the refugee camp with the Esther Home girls to feed over 1000 refugees. It was also the day I would be saying good bye to Esther for a few days. When we picked her up I could tell her heart was breaking and she sat abnormally close to me on the way to the school. When I was having a hard time with my faith after the Ministers decision I bought a book called "God is in the tough stuff". I gave Esther that book and she read it while we traveled. We did n ot alk much and she spent some time writing a letter to her sweet sister Glacier. She loves Canyon and Glacier so much and she is most sad when she thinks of them. She longs to see them and to be in America with her. Glacier is her little sister and she talk of her so often. I have shown her many pictures of Canyon doing goofy faces and she looks so forward to meeting him and laughing with him. She keeps speaking of how much she wants to see the twins and how much she loves little kids. I showed her some pictures of them and she always asks me what words they speak. I try and go through the whole list and yet I tell her that if she asks Unlce he would say that they are speaking like one million words. She said she is so poud of them to be playing the violin and I tell her how cute they are playing it. She is so bonded with our whole family. She says she knows that Uncle is probably a funny guy, from what she hears from me and from Aunt Eve's pictures she thinks she is a very pretty woman. It breaks my heart when she speaks of them all as I can not express to her the love she would be given and how much they all care for her even from afar. I can see that God has placed these feelings in her heart and that it gives her hope and comfort to talk about them all.

As we approached the school Pastor Emma told me it was time to say goodbye to my daughter. I must tell you I felt neeles go through my heart, but I knew I must be strong. I whispered in her ear that I love her very much and that she must be strong. I told her she must spend this time in Rwanda loving her friends and cherishing each moment she has with the, as when she comes to America she will miss them all very much. told her that God has granted this time for her to do this and that she must be happy and thankful for the time he has given us to be together. Surprisingly, she smiled and was happy. She knew I would be back in a few days and I think she was very anxious to see her friends and to tell them of our time together. As she left the van my heart was aching, but I knew we were off to make a difference in the refugee's lives and that God will take are of her and will help in healing my hurt.