Thursday, November 15, 2007

Go Storm!


GO STORM! I am so proud of all the third grade girls and so sad I have not been at the games. Galcier is so happy talking about your games and I know that you are all doing your best. I have seen you all improve so much this season and my heart if full. You are wonderful little girls and I can not wait to hug you all. I am keeping our little Emma in my prayers and I know she is a tough little girl with alot of love. We love you very much Emma and know that we are all parying for you to feel better. I love each and everyone of you and know you will do great tonight.


I thought of you all when I took this picture. This is the net they use to play volleyball here in Rwanda. It makes you thankful for all we have in America. Play Hard!

My sisters!


This is a picture of my 13 new sisters at the camp we were feeding. I have grown to love them so much and will miss them all. I spoke to Glacier and Canyon this morning and they were very tired. It seems like it has been a tough couple of days and I think they are ready for their mommy to come home. I am too am so ready to see them and everyone. I want to thank everyone for watching after them and for giving them comfort while I am away. I especailly want to thank my sister in law Eve. I love you so much and appreciate all that you have done. During my trip I often worried that although they love their daddy, Opa and Uncle. They really yearn for that mother figure. With both Oma and I gone, I knew it woud be hard on them. But my sweet sister you have been that for them and I love you so much for that. We have been friends for so many years and have gone through so much together. I truly feel you are my sister and I can not wait to have coffee and tell you what a wonderful new relationship I have developed with all the girls in the Esther Home. I have told them all about you and about your kind heart and how they are also lucky to have such a wonderful sister like you as their extended family. You are a awesome aunt, my special friend and a wonderful mother, but most of all to me you are my favorite sister. Thank you again and remember how much I love you.

To my goofy little brother


This day that I am writing about was truly an act of God's. My mom and dad spent $4000 to buy a truck full of beans and corn meal to go to the refugees that come from Tanzania. There are over 1000 of them living there and it is far back into the country side. The rain made the dirt roads extremely muddy and so we were all praying that our trip would not be wasted. The truck was as big as an american dump truck and was full of bags of food. These people have not recieved food in three months and it was wonderful to be a part of easing some of their suffering.


There were many special moments this day, but none can compare to that of Maria seeing her brother after a few weeks of being at the Esther Home. Maria and her brother are orphans who together have survived and put themselves through school. They have lived in many different places like this camp and have ended up amongst these people we were feeding. Their camp was amazing and you could see the partnership they had in making it a beautiful home. She lit up as we were walking to her part of the camp and my heart grew warm as I understood her love for her only sibling. It made me think of the special relationship I have with Eric. We have not been through the hardship that these two have endured, but we have accomplished many things together and have the same sort of bond. They embraced eachother and never let go. I know that when I am having a tough time that Eric will aways be there to also embrace me and hold me tight. I envisioned those times when I come to work and I am tired or the moments through this adoption process when my hearet was aching. He is always there to crack a funny joke (well he thinks they are funny and so it makes me laugh). He loves me very much and he would always be there to protect me and to provide me a safe environment. I really missed him on this day and thought of him often. It was so sweet to see them so happy to see eachother and to see how proud Maria's brother was of her. It was truly a time to sit back and relish in your love for those who love you and support you. These two wonderful people have had no family for so long and it made me appreciate all that God has given me. I truly love my family and friends and feel very fortunate for them. To my brother, I thank you for being so good to me and for the love and respect you have always shown me. You are truly my hero and I love you more and more everyday.

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Bittersweet moments


This day I knew was going to be bittersweet and very trying for me. When we awoke it was pouring and in Rwanda because the roads are made of mud, a rainy day meant trouble. Our plans were to go tp the refugee camp with the Esther Home girls to feed over 1000 refugees. It was also the day I would be saying good bye to Esther for a few days. When we picked her up I could tell her heart was breaking and she sat abnormally close to me on the way to the school. When I was having a hard time with my faith after the Ministers decision I bought a book called "God is in the tough stuff". I gave Esther that book and she read it while we traveled. We did n ot alk much and she spent some time writing a letter to her sweet sister Glacier. She loves Canyon and Glacier so much and she is most sad when she thinks of them. She longs to see them and to be in America with her. Glacier is her little sister and she talk of her so often. I have shown her many pictures of Canyon doing goofy faces and she looks so forward to meeting him and laughing with him. She keeps speaking of how much she wants to see the twins and how much she loves little kids. I showed her some pictures of them and she always asks me what words they speak. I try and go through the whole list and yet I tell her that if she asks Unlce he would say that they are speaking like one million words. She said she is so poud of them to be playing the violin and I tell her how cute they are playing it. She is so bonded with our whole family. She says she knows that Uncle is probably a funny guy, from what she hears from me and from Aunt Eve's pictures she thinks she is a very pretty woman. It breaks my heart when she speaks of them all as I can not express to her the love she would be given and how much they all care for her even from afar. I can see that God has placed these feelings in her heart and that it gives her hope and comfort to talk about them all.


As we approached the school Pastor Emma told me it was time to say goodbye to my daughter. I must tell you I felt neeles go through my heart, but I knew I must be strong. I whispered in her ear that I love her very much and that she must be strong. I told her she must spend this time in Rwanda loving her friends and cherishing each moment she has with the, as when she comes to America she will miss them all very much. told her that God has granted this time for her to do this and that she must be happy and thankful for the time he has given us to be together. Surprisingly, she smiled and was happy. She knew I would be back in a few days and I think she was very anxious to see her friends and to tell them of our time together. As she left the van my heart was aching, but I knew we were off to make a difference in the refugee's lives and that God will take are of her and will help in healing my hurt.

Hope in memory of my Grandma Mary



After a long but wonderful trip to visit Esther's family, we ended the day with deep sleep and were ready for a great day at the Esther Home opening. I knew it was going to be a special day for Mom and was beaming with pride from the early morning. We started our day visiting the mother of my sweet friends Devota and Violate. Devota is a beautiful woman I met last time I was here in Rwanda and we quickly became great friends. She fell in love with my sweet little Glacier while we were here and was such a great "Auntie" to her. She is now married and lives in Indiana and so I get a chance to talk with her often. She was the first mommy to Esther when she came from her Grandmothers in Butare to African New Life. She loves Esther very much and has taken all her efforts to provide her stability here in Rwanda. Violate is her sister and I got the chance to meet her in person for the first time on our trip to see Esther's father. She was the wonderful lady who saw this poor little girl begging on the streets with her grandmother and could see the potential of her. She took her from the streets and saved her life by bringing her to Devota to live in the Kinombe house in Kigali. These ladies will forever be my friends and family and I love them very much. Violate has helped us so many times during this process of adoption and never will I be able to pay her back for her genorosity. During holidays from school the children in the boarding houses that Esther resides with must leave the school and return to their families or friends. Because Esther has nowhere to go, Devota and Violate's mother take Esther in for that time. She has loved her and taken care of her for the last few years and is one of the most loving and kind woman you will ever meet. She has a funny sense of humor and is so welcoming. We got to go greet her when we stopped to pick up the girls for the opening of the Esther Home. She is generally a healthy woman, but as I could see Pastor Emma interpreting for us, you could sense her hearing was not so good. I told her how much Esther loves her and how much I appreciate her taking care of her. You could see tears in her eyes and she told us that her hearing is not so well and that each days her vision is getting worse. She fears soon she will not be able to see and then will not be able to take care of the girls. She also cares for Barbara, her grandchild who lives with Esther. This woman has given all her life to being a great mother, Auntie and grandmother and I could see her heartache as she spoke of this ailment. I was very sad as she reminded me of my late Grandma Mary. I loved Grandma Mary very much and remebered as she started to lose her eye sight, the saddness and helplessness she felt each and every day. My heart was aching and wanted to hold her in my arms and make it all go away. Of course, my dear mother just could not let this go. She too remembers Grandma Mary and the heartache it caused her and extended an invitation to get her to a doctor to see what can be done. The blessings that my mother has shown the people of Rwanda is overwhelming and I can not tell you the new repsect and admiration I have even more for her than before. She is a true humanitarian and just a kind and caring person. So, on Thursday Violate will take grandma to the eyes, nose and Ear doctor here in Kigali and she will hopefully be fitted with some glasses. God is truly present here and we are seeing his work each and every day! Wow!

With love to Mike and Lisa



I want to tell you that it has been such a busy trip and I am just now getting a chance to blog for you all. Time is slow here in Rwanda and places are far between, so our days are long. There are some dear friends of mine in Portland that have been a great support for our family through the Esther adoption. There names are Mike and Lisa and their family partnered with African New Life to start many things. One being the first home that Esther came to from the streets. Mike is like an uncle to her and she, like us, considers them all family. They have fallen in love with all the children in Rwanda, but God has placed a few in their hearts. This photo is for the both of you and I just wanted to let you know that I feel your presence here in Africa and appreciate your loving support and prayers. I wil be returning on Friday to Kayonza and will get a picture of sweet Christine. They are all doing so well and miss and love you all very much. God Bless!

Sunday, November 11, 2007

A glimpse of HIS plan!




Today was truly a day that the Lord has made. We traveled very far into the village where Esther's father, sister and brother live. The siblings do not live with him, but fortunate for us they were visiting him today. The brother lives 45 minutes of drive time away from him, yet walks to see him. It takes a good 4 hours of walking to see him and he does it every weekend. Esther spent the long trip cuddled next to me in the van. I do not think she has stopped holding my hand or touching me since we have been together the last few days. Again this is just like my sweet Glacier... a big cuddler! Esther truly loves me as her mommy and everyone around us sees this. I love her so much and am having such a special time with her. Our bond has only gotten closer and our hearts are tightly woven together.



I can not explain to you how it felt to see Esther with her family and to meet them. Her sister is so beautiful and her brother is so handsome. The father was so appreciative and we exchanged many words and prayers about our journeys in life together. He is a very sweet man who loves his children very much and prays for their safety. He was returning from church and around his neck he proudly wore the cross Opa had given him on their last visit. He asked about everyone and said to tell them he loves them. He is an orphan himself and told me that because of this he has no family. but he considers us his blessing and now feel as if for the first time he has a large one. He is so connected to each and every member of my family and even called my brother by his name. He said say hello to the babies, too. I was so touched by how he has invested in learning about us all. Esther was smiling so big and I could see that she loved and missed them all so much. It was a moment for me that solidified what has taken place in this last year. We have brought together a family, that one year ago did not exist, but now is happy and can see that God is providing for them. When I talked to the father about the Minister's decision my little Esther was saddened and tearful. As much as I tell her to be strong or Mommy will cry, her emotions get the best of her and my heart breaks in pieces. We said our goodbyes and again the Glacier came out of Esther. She was hurting so much and just wanted to be left alone. Her usual self of sitting so close to me and cuddling was not there. She did not want to sit next to me and I knew she was hurting. I sat in the back and let the tears stroll down my face. I was so sad, yet much more full of an overwhelming joy. God has shown this family and now me that if you have faith in him and believe in his willingness to a bigger plan, that he will do good. I felt such heartache for my little girl and knew her heart was aching, but I gave her time and space. I have been so strong in those times of sadness when we talk and I could not muster the energy for it at this moment. What can you say in those situations and how do you explain the unexplainable. I wiped my tears after a few minutes and smiled my way through the rest of the day. We stopped for a few moments to get some snacks and I had some time to compose myself. When Esther returned to the van, she immediately sat next to me and whispered in my ear that she loves her mommy. Again, I had to get the strength to not cry. I am so like my father and my emotions are so strong. We spent the rest of the trip laughing, cuddling, and chatting about everything. It was a moment I will never forget and will hold close to my heart forever.



My love for this little girl grows deeper and deeper with each minute of the day and I am trying not to think of the moment I will leave her. This trip has sent me into a state of confusion as I am not convinced that bringing her to America is the right thing to do. She is so loved here and loves her friends and family so much. I know children are resilient, but African love for each other is so different than American and I am still not sure of Gods plan. Maybe there is a reason this is not working out. I do not know, but I am certain now that although I will fight until there is no fight, if it is not meant to be, I will always be her mommy and we will love her just as much as in America.



Please continue to keep us in your prayers and again especially our girl Esther. Her heart is so fragile right now and she will need all the love, support and strength to get through these times.

Rwanda Colors

For those of you who are new to this blog...if you go to the link called African Travelers on the right it will take you to my mom's blog. She is a great writer and will take you through our journey as if you were here. It is www.rwandacolors.blogspot.com . Enjoy and scroll down to see awesome pictures Opa sent us of the Storm Girls!

Just like my Sweet Glacier!




Hello my friends, first I will say I miss you all very much. Yesterday I got to talk with Glacier, Canyon and Rich and it made my heart so full. I wish they were all here with me, everyone has been asking for them. You can tell that Opa has made a true name for himself here in Rwanda. They all talk of him so much and love him so unconditionally. I am so happy they have seen what we all have known for so long. His heart is so big and he has touched so many people here. I am very PROUD! Yesterday was a special day for both Mom and I . We spent the day at The Esther Home and we introduced Esther to them. They treated her like a little sister and promised to take care of her for me. They were excited to see the namesake of the home. I had a lot of fun with the girls and laughed with them. They all are very beautiful and get along so well. Seeing all those girls that age living together as sisters and loving eachother so much teaches me to love my neighbors and friends more unconditionally. We could all benefit from these girls and their contagious kindness. Esther was very proud of the house and although shy a little, she spent some quality time with some. In the afternoon I took Barbara and Esther to the pool here at the hotel. When they walked into the hotel, Esther told Barbara..now is the time to speak our English. They were beaming and you could see the amazement in their eyes. They first got in the elevator and were a little afraid of the movement, but after the first time they could not get enough of it. They both changed into their swimsuits and were very honored to be wearing Glacier's suits. They admire her so much and felt as if it was a gift to be wearing them. They were fearful at first in the pool and my little Esther was just like Glacier and the dogs. She had me sit at the edge of the pool and hold her hand. The part of the pool she was in was no deeper than her knees, but she was so scared she did not want to go in. There are so many things that her and Glacier show a likeness. They have similar personalities and it breaks my heart when I think of what is going on. They would be wonderful friends and sisters in America and I think they would both benefit from each other. I know they would get along great and Esther would be a great big sister to her. Although Glacier would look like the older as Esther is a small little turd. I spent the day talking to her about school, her friends and life in general. Her English is outstanding and you would never imagine we could spend the whole day together without someone to interpret. She talked and talked and talked and talked. Another thing just like my sweet Glacier. At night Glacier would rather chat with me than read books. It was such a special time I had with Esther and I can see now the seed that God has planted in our life. I must say when I left to go on this trip I was trying to convince myself that I was forgiving God, but in my heart I know I really had not. Now my life is changed once again and I believe in his big plan and can see the good that has come out of this whole process. Esther has grown up so much and the love that she has been given and the family she now has is making all her dreams come true. God is so big and I see him in all he is doing.


I gave her the book that the 3rd Grade class has made her and she loves it soooooooo much. She could not wait to sit down and read all the letters they have wrote her. I was amazed today as she told me who the children where and some of what they wrote. She sat in the van and wrote a long letter to the whole class. God has put so many friends into her life and she is bursting with love for each and everyone of you. Barbara said she loves Mrs. Brookes and that she is a very pretty American woman and Esther said she looks like a great teacher. She now has 23 sisters and brothers and can not wait to meet them all. So as you can see we had a wonderful day and our trip has been so life changing. My heart still breaks at times, but I can feel it slowly healing. Seeing Esther and holding her in my arms makes my heart very full. It is going to be very hard leaving her, but I know she is being taken care of here and I have Faith God will provide.


I was so touched to see the comment from my sweet friend Becki. I knew when I left I was so fortunate to have good friends, but I consider you all family and know that you have been praying for us all. I can feel it here in Rwanda and can not wait to come home and share with you.


I will end tonight with a big GO STORM! Rich was so happy and said the team did so good. Oma and I were so sad to have missed it, but I know the girls were on fire.Great job girls and know that I am soooooooo proud of each and everyone of you! Love to all!

Friday, November 9, 2007

Nothing compares to this day!



What a day it was! When I got up this morning I felt like it was going to be a great day. It has been a long time coming and after a year and a half I was getting to finally see Esther and hold her in my arms. The trip was an hour and we spent it having fun conversations with Robert, Joie and Yvonne. We practiced some Kinyarwanda slang and laughed at how funny my African accent was. Robert said his favorite funny slang word in America was Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. It was hilarious hearing it come out of his mouth. It was nice to keep my mind off of the anxiousness of seeing Esther soon.

When we pulled into the driveway of the school I will admit, I felt nauseous and thought maybe I was going to get sick. I guess I always thought the next time I was seeing her would be a happy moment and I knew that although this was going to be a fun day, it was also going to be heartbreaking. I seen her come up the drive and instantly felt a sigh of relief and remembered how much I love her. Of course we hugged super tight and did not let go for a few minutes. I could feel her heart beating and truly felt like her mommy. She of course went to Oma and gave her a big hug. She loves her Oma so much and you could definitely see the bond they have formed in the times that they have been together. Going through what they have together has truly bonded them and the same with her Opa. She then turned to me in her sweet little voice and said in her good English "where is Glacier?" She loves Glacier so much and longs to see her. She then asked about the rest of the family and wanted to know if the twins are getting bigger. We talked to all the kids and Esther showed me her room with her sweet friend Christine. She got her photos out that we gave her and they both pointed to Rich and said in unison "We all love him very much." I responded with " We do too!" Then as they continued they got to the picture we gave her of our family with my cousin Taylor. Christine pointed to her and said " We also love her very much". I think they could tell that she is a sweet soul and they longed to have her as a friend. I was a very proud cousin as I too know what a great person she is. We spent the afternoon teaching them to double dutch and it was fun to see them trying something new. It was hard for them, but some of them we bound and determined to get it. Esther spent the day attached to my hip and I think we held hands the whole time. Many times in the day my heart felt sadness knowing she was not coming home with me, but again I tried to be strong for her and kept reminding her to be patient and keep praying. She broke down a few times, but I know she will be okay. She introduced me to her best friend Sara (who is the girl in the picture) and I instantly fell in love with her. She is so sweet, speaks great English and acts as a big sister for Esther. We ended the day and took Esther and Barbara with us. Barbara (in the picture by herself) is our dear friend Devota and Violets niece and she will stay with us also. It was such a heartfelt day and I am so excited to get to spend more time with Esther this week. Tomorrow off to the Esther home and we will show Esther it for the first time. She is so proud and can not wait to meet the girls. We showed all the kids at the school the picture of Glacier's third grade class and they were all so interested in what kids their age in America look like. Many recognized Glacier and asked me to bring her back. She is someone they all fell in love with and I missed not having her with us.
So, I hope you are all doing well and I miss everyone so much. Please keep us in your prayers and especially Esther as she is hurting and she needs the strength. Lots of Love!

Thursday, November 8, 2007

Santa Claus is coming to town!

Wow another wonderful day here in Rwanda. After stewing over the minister and her decision and taking some advise from once again my caring mother, I am really trying hard to not stay in the past but to be positive and move towards the future. Mom has always told us that if you do not let your negative energy go you will not have room for the good energy. This means nothing good will come to you like you expect. So, today was a new day for me and I think I am finally getting past it all. Am I emotional and very disappointed at times? Absolutely, but there is a bigger plan and I am opening up myself to it. We spent the day exhausting ourselves visiting three of the girls homes and families. It was another day full of great friendship and wonderful new experiences. I absolutely love the girls I have met so far and can not wait to meet the rest of them. I can not tell you anymore, what a wonderful opportunity these girls have and yet what they are giving back to me on this trip, they may never know. I now feel like I too have 13 sisters and look forward to our future as family. I wish I could put you all in my suitcase and have brought you here, it again solidifies my love for Rwanda and it's people. Tomorrow we get to go get Esther. My stomach turns each time I think of it and I feel like Santa Clause will be coming tomorrow and I am in third grade. I am so excited, it has been so long and she is the real reason I am here. This trip to Kayonza we will not be visiting the sponsored families, but on Friday next week we will and I am also so excited for that. We are getting a chance to visit Norah for the first time and I plan to have Oma take a ton of pictures. If you do not know about Norah, she is a beautiful 8 year old that Glacier's third grade class is sponsoring. She will now be able to attend school and get a free meal and medical care. They raised $900 at the church bazaar this last weekend and they plan to sponsor her for awhile. She does not know it yet, but her family just got larger and she has 20 or so more brothers and sisters. I love the third grade class and wish I could take them on a field trip all the way here. I can not wait to get back to tell them all about the wonderful work they have done in making a dream of a little girls come true. They are special kids truly full of kindness with a compassionate and loving teacher. Well, I guess I best be going to bed. I have a very emotional and yet fun day ahead. My love to you all and I will keep you in our prayers. And to my dear cousin Sabra...I am so happy you were worried about me and I love you too. Smile smile!

Wednesday, November 7, 2007

A mother and her cub!

Okay, Well I was going to wait until tomorrow to write but after checking the blog and seeing the amount of people looking, I figured I owed it to you all to write something. Again, it shows me what great support my family and I have and I love you all for it.
It was a long trip and I am so happy to be here. I tend to forget what a beautiful country this is and how kind and caring the people are. They have all once again embraced us like family and I know it will be hard to leave. I wish I could take some home with me. Especially one in particular..hmmm wonder who that could be. Speaking of her, I am so excited as Friday I get to go see her. Although it will be bitter sweet my heart is anxious to see her beautiful face again. It is so much more real being here and seeing how just in this past year her life has changed as she has such a great support of friends who love her and are willing to always love and protect her while we are so far away.
Today was a mellow day...emotional to say the least for me, but light in activity. We started the morning with a meeting and them first stop the "dreaded" Ministers office. Of course she was not there for us to see, but we picked up the response letter. I must say there was a half percent of hope from me that the letter said good things, but deep in my heart I knew better. I watched as my mother took a protective attitude in protecting me and spoke her mind in a caring yet...you hurt my family way. She truly loves me and went out of her comfort zone to stand up for our story. I love her so much and this trip I can see will only bring us closer. I never thought it could be possible, but as I get older we tend to get closer on that deeper woman to woman level. She is one awesome lady.
We met with the lawyer today and decide to go to court to get a judgement that classifies Esther as an orphan. We are sure that this will make the Minister mad and she may sit on our document, but we will be persistent and eventually she will have to respond. Like mom says, at least we will have all our "ducks in a row" when we write to the President. They have not seen the last of us yet. So no real news, but it was a good day. New adventures tomorrow. I am so excited to go see some families of the Esther Home girls. It is a beautiful thing that the Hacketts and my parents are doing and seeing the girls and their families is something that will change me forever. I too dad am very PROUD of my mother.
Well, I will try and write more tomorrow and Joyce will be on hers in more details. Until then, keep us in your prayers and send some to my family at home, I miss them very much and see my little Glacier in everything we do. I definitely brought her in my heart. My love to you all.

Friday, November 2, 2007

INSPI(RED)




Okay well three more days and Mom and I are off to Rwanda. It has been a very crazy week and we have been working our buns off getting everything in order before we go. I am starting to get very excited and anxious at the same time. I promised Esther that the next time she seen my face, I was taking her home. So it is breaking my heart to have to break that promise. But I am excited to shower her with love, plenty of hugs and kisses. She is on school break right now so we will get to spend a lot of quality time with her. I am dreading leaving her there, but my hope is still there that someday she will be coming with me. Until then we will absolutely love her from afar. We will work our hardest to be the best parents and family we can be from many miles away. I will go there and try and show just how many people love her and how big of an extended family she has. I know she is a part of all your lives and I do feel the positive energy and support you all have been sending. We have been so fortunate and grateful for the love and empathy everyone has shown us and it has definitely helped us have some good days in the wake of a lot of bad days. Thank you all! So I hope to document our experience's as we have them in Rwanda. That is the least I can do for all of you who have been so kind. Keep us in your prayers and say some extra ones for those we are leaving behind. I will miss them all so much and plan on using this trip for some good closure. I promised myself that when I return I will continue to fight, but will also put more energy into what we are fortunate to have with us. Love to you all!