http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uISuvTiTYJA

This is so funny and will make those who are new parents feel better and those that are seasoned parents glad it is over! Enjoy

Giggles from the past!

So, yeah tomorrow is Friday! Well, we have not heard any news as of yet over the Esther thing...some say NO NEWS IS GOOD NEWS..but for me with dealing with RWANDA it means things just might not be moving. Oh Well, anyways not much has been going on in the last few days. I have tried to keep busy to keep my mind off of the whole thing. A friend said yesterday that I seemed like I was handling it very well as she would be a basket case. I have been there and there are still times during each day, but it was nice to hear that I am showing strength in all this. I promised Mom and Dad I would be strong and I feel for all they are doing for me, I better uphold my end of the bargain.

I was looking at some old pictures of the kids today and came across some really cute ones. Canyon and Cuz'n Bryley will probably kill me when they get older. But by that time there will be some kind of new technology and this blog will be a thing of the past. I hope these bring you the chuckles that I got. It is a great start to the weekend and reminds me to be thankful for all I have and to cherish each moment. they grow up so fast and those old days are now just a distant memory. I encourage you to pull out those old pictures and giggle at what is the past. It is a good mood booster. Again thank you all for being so supportive and loving. I love you all so much!

Staying strong!

Oh, well today is a new day and I am feeling a bit better. Especially after coming to work to see some beautiful flowers on my desk sent by my sweet cuz'ns Beth and Sabra. I love you both so much and thank you! Life is so trying sometimes, but I guess it just makes you stronger. Here is my funny story for the day...last night Glacier came home from school and was telling me how excited she was to tell her teacher and friends that Esther's father has agreed to the adoption. My heart was aching all day knowing that I would have to tell her that things just are not going as planned. Anyways, so as she was telling me her wonderful news I interrupted her with "Glacier, now we have run into some more bumps in the road and..." Immediately she interrupts me and says in her ever so kind and sweet voice, "I know, I know...more Damn paperwork." I smiled and actually chuckled through it. She has definitely seen the frustrations we have been going through and it was her way of letting us know that she too is getting frustrated. To hear those words come out of her mouth, made me realize the effect this is also having on her. Glacier is not one to curse...Canyon he actually kind of enjoys it on occasion...so to hear her use the word damn just made me giggle. I agree Miss Glacier....this process has been really Damn hard. Excuse my French :) But the Raymond and Pepos family is going to pick ourselves up and be blessed for what we have. We are strong and will just get stronger. Have a great day everyone and look in your own backyards to appreciate all that you too are given.

Trying to hold my head up high today...

This picture is a great representation of just how I am feeling today. Man let me tell you the emotional roller coaster this adoption has brought us is both draining and a test of faith. So although it was such a great day yesterday when we found Esther's father and he agreed to the adoption, we have run into yet another "bump in the road". To make a long story short, the minister is claiming now that since he is out of prison, of sound mind and okay physical health, then he should take care of her. I would love to see a the all American/African dream of a father who gets a great job, nice house and food on the table, so he can take care of all his children. Send them all to college for a great education and provide them with a stable, loving family environment. But the reality of it is not there. Am I heartbroken today? Absolutely! Do I want her to come here to America? Absolutely! I just want what is best for Esther. She has endured so much in her little life, she is strong, kind and beautiful girl who deserve only the best life can give her. What that is...I am questioning. But I am giving it to God once again and hoping and praying he does the best for her. Even if it breaks our hearts, she will always be my little girl and will be a part of our family. But, Dad said it is not over until the fat lady sings and if he has to write to president of Rwanda he will. If you know anything about the Pepos family...there is a lot of truth to that. Again keep us in your prayers and thoughts and cross those fingers and toes for it all to be fine. I can not wait to get off this roller coaster. I never did particularly like them anyways. Love to you all!

A great day to remember!

I chose this picture because it shows you just how great of a family we have. We all dressed as Pirates for Canyon's 6 year old birthday party. The things we do for the ones we love. There is nothing our family would not do for eachother...even if it means dressing up. Arrg! Look out Esther you are joining a crazy clan. (Crazy cuz'n Taylor included)

So today is a great day for the Raymond and Pepos families. I must admit I did not get much sleep last night..if any. I knew that while I slept my wonderful parents would be on the search with Esther to find her father. It is not like you can look up his address on Yahoo and map quest it, so the journey is a difficult one. But definitely not one my folks can not handle. I finally got out of bed at 5:30 and paced until about 6:45 and then got in my car, with bad hair and sweats , and drove to my parents house to call.(my comcast phone does not allow international calls) When I got a hold of them dad answered and told me that yes in deed Esther's father gave permission for us to adopt her. I can not tell you the emotions that filled my heart. Then dad gave the phone to Esther...my heart was racing and I was a bit nervous. I wanted to say so much to her, but knew that although her English is better, it is still very limited. But to hear her voice after a year made my heart fill with love and joy. She sounded just as beautiful as I remember and it made it all seem so much more real. Today is truly one of the best days of my life. I then got to talk with Mom who told me that Esther's father was also in the car and that they were taking him to the city so he can visit with the Minister tomorrow to grant permission in person. I then screamed and could not hold back my emotions. Of course, mom said do not cry, but it was tears of extreme relief and lots of joy. So hopefully by tomorrow the papers will be approved and she will be coming home soon.

Thank you all so much for being such a great support. Especially Eric, Eve, Cedar and Eden for letting me wake them up. I wanted to share the news with someone so I knocked on their door early this morning. I did bring coffee as a peace offering and they were more than welcoming. I love you all so much and want you to know that I appreciate all the prayers and positive energy that has been sent our way. We are getting closer and Esther is a lucky girl to have all of you as her friends and family. So have a great day today and be thankful for all we have. God is bigger than I ever imagined.

Can he be anymore crazier?

Why is it that I have so many pictures of Crazy Canyon making silly faces. Usually when I see these I say he takes after his father...but I must admit, it is more my personality coming out of him. He just makes me smile so much and today as I was searching for a fun picture to put up, I found this and it made me laugh. He brings such fun to our lives and again keeps life so simple. Hooray for Buddy boy! We hope this makes you giggle like it does us.

Yeah for our Team Captain # 5 !

Meet the two Captains of today's game...Glacier and Sophia! We are so proud of the girls today. In CYO you play the best of three games. we lost the first one...but WON the second one. Needless to say we did lose the third, so they won the match. But they all had fun and so did us parents. Our team definitely is the most spirited. Every girl was so supportive of their other team mates and they got so excited that the other team would plug there ears from all the excitement. They were definitely not taking it too serious, but still were very focused and played great! We were put in the high league and so some of the girl on the other team were fourth graders and have played before. So our girls did great as a new team. It is all about fun anyways. So Yeah for the Storm! Our games have just begun!

Bump Set Spike it!

So, I talked to Mom and Dad and they told me they seen Esther. They said she looks great and that her English is doing well. She of course was confused to why Rich and I were not here and so Opa had to break the news to her about what is going on. He gave her the "do you want the good news first or the bad news?" He has always started things this way so she best be getting used to it. :) So he explained the situation to her and she said she is positive that her father will not refuse. Mom said she is so confident about it and that she has to be her own advocate. That being said we will see what transpires on Sunday when they go see him with Esther. I am so blessed to have such wonderful parents and to have this opportunity to have Africa and Esther in our lives. So today I am sending out positive energy to them and Esther's father. Please continue to send those positive thoughts their way. My heart is full today knowing she is so happy to see mom and dad and to come be with us.

On the other side of the world, here in Portland Oregon, we are gearing up for Glacier's first volleyball game tomorrow. She is so excited and a bit nervous, but she is a great player, the best as far as her mom is concerned. Wish her luck and I will post a picture of her in her fancy uniform. Go Storm! I am a very very proud mama!

Aaah...I just hugged myself

Wow, it is 6:15 Friday morning right now in Rwanda. 8 Pm Thursday night here in Portland. My stomach is in butterflies as I am thinking that in a few hours Oma and Opa get to see and hug Esther. Oh how I wish I was there, it has been over a year and I am just yearning to take her in my arms. But if there is anyone in this world I would love for her to hug is my mom. Her hugs are powerful and so full of positive energy and I know Esther feels that when she sees her. And Dad well, if you have ever hugged him, it is always so tight and genuine. I am so anxious for her to meet our dear friends Dan and Bunny, who went to Rwanda with mom and dad. She is such a special girl and they have been so supportive. I am sure meeting each other will change them all forever. Rwanda is a powerful place and I am anxious to reap the energy again. So reach out and give someone a hug today...even if it is yourself.

I want to be 6 again...

I just love this picture. Every time I look at it it reminds me not to take life so serious. I am finally starting to feel better and my mood is slowly changing regarding the Esther situation. Mom and Dad are now in Rwanda and will go and see Esther tomorrow. I am so excited to hear how she is doing and so excited for Mom and Dad to be able to see her. There is a link under my favorite Blogs to their blog. Mom is trying to write everyday so please take some time to view it. Sunday they will travel with Esther to Bu tare to see her father and to make sure he is still willing to let us adopt her. I am planning on spending my weekend cleaning as to keep busy and my mind off of it all. Please keep thinking of us and cross your fingers and toes. And when your days seem stressful and hectic...think of this picture and our funny guy Canyon, who obviously does not take life too serious. Oh how it would be to be 6 again.

We want to welcome You...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aeggGFHF-v8


Okay, so I am on a roll and just thought I would post a small thing that keeps me going when days are frustrating over the Esther adoption. A lot of you are asking what the father getting out of jail means. My answer is...your guess is as good as mine. We need to get another letter form him getting permission as the last one was not as "strong" as the Rwanda ministry would like. So, Mom and Dad will be going to find him in Rwanda and to get him to write a new one. now that he is out of jail, he could change his mind, or he could still feel it is a blessing for Esther to be adopted. who know, but for know we wait and pray God will give us hat we dream of. that being said please take a minute to visit this You Tube perform ace by Esther and her friends. My dear friends Mike and Lisa went and visited Rwanda and this was presented to there mission team. I think I am going to make this a popular you tube sight as I do look at it everyday for a reminder of why I am putting my family through all the ups and downs. Esther is the one singing the chorus and is in the red shirt. Enjoy and remember to be thankful for all we have.

If Googling is stalking...then call me a stalker!

So tell me is googling someone really considered stalking? If so then call me a stalker. I know I have been slacking on the blogging, and i am sorry, but I do not remember anywhere in the "what to expect when you are expecting" book that tells about the mother getting the colds worse than the kids. But that is what happened. I have been down for the count this weekend and am slowly recovering. Maybe I am getting older and my body just can not fight it off as well, but I must say it has been a duzzy.

Anyway, back to my stalking...To make a long story short, on Friday, after having such a trying week, I saw an old friend that I had been thinking of for over 15 years. Yes, at one point I did Google his name to see what I could find and just did not ever follow through on my leads. I guess I was not sure what his life entailed and knew that if it was meant to be our meeting would happen. So it did.

My friend, Aaron, was one of those people who has made a difference in your life, but probably does not know it. When we met in college, we were definitely living two different lifestyles. Me? I was the girl in the flowered skirt and Tie dyed shirt in front of the Federal building with a sign reading "No Blood for Oil", and he was picking me up in his 1964 blue bumping Impala. I know he is biting his lip right now, as I may have gotten the year wrong on his ride. He loved that thing more than life itself sometimes. But with our differences, we became great friends. The best in fact. He was the first person who really showed me the concept of "One World...One Love". He was and I am sure still is one of the kindest and non judgemental people I have ever met.

When I left college to go to Montana, I always wondered if it was the right decision or just my Gypsy ways leading me to new adventures. Either way Aaron supported me and told me to follow my heart and to go with confidence. He was my true friend and I have always been grateful for his love and support. We lost touch a few years after I moved...he met a great woman named Nicole, who he fell deeply in love with and I met Rich, whom I fell deeply in love with. Now Aaron is a father of two cute children and is married to Nicole, who is as beautiful as the first day I met her. My heart is filled with wonder on why our meeting has happened on this day, but for whatever reason it has renewed my faith about sending out positive energy and has brought back those wonderful memories that I have always held so dear.

So my advise for you all this morning is...start stalking that long lost friend. It really is all you imagine it to be, a part of your past, that can never be replaced. If my friend Aaron ever visits this sight, know I love you still very much and will continue to send positive energy to you and your family.

My trip down the Runway!

So, as you probably read, yesterday was definitely not one of my best days. But today I have started a new day and feel a slight bit better. I am suffering from a small bit of guilt for not being happy for Esther and her father, maybe a bit selfish I know, but I love her so much and now am uncertain on what lies ahead.

But I am so blessed to have my family and their support. Last night Glacier, Canyon and I were watching Project Runway...for those who do not know I am a huge fan of reality TV. Basically it is a show about up and coming clothing designers. Anyhoo, they were having a fashion show and we were all acting as if we were fashion connoisseur. I made a comment that I really liked a certain outfit and my sweet son, Canyon, responded with a " I like it too, but it does not look as good on her as it would you". Oh yes, I love that kid and I must say it brought me out of my funk and back into the wonderful reality of what I already am blessed with. So, today I start the day being thankful for what God has given me and praying for Esther and her father and what he is about to give them. Hope you all have a great day, and remember on those bad days.."it doesn't look as good on her as it would on you." :)

Some things are just not in our control

Well, how do I start this? Hmmm...I had great intentions of coming in today to tell you what wonderful things have happened in the last couple days regarding Esther. We went to a banquet for our friends non-profit organization-Ten Talent, Int-this week and were greeted so warmly with people who have met Esther and have been touched by her. We truly felt blessed to be around so many people who love her and who are waiting with us for the "World to Change". (Been listening to the John Mayer CD so my inspiration comes from that.) Her presence was so apparent there and it helped once again solidify what we are doing. Not a day goes by where she is not talked about and she floods my thoughts each minute. We truly are blessed to have so many friends and family supporting us and loving from a far...Esther.

So that being said today I came in and got some news that could be taken in many different ways. Mom received an email today from the director of the orphanage that Esther's older brother stays. He informed us that yesterday Esther's father who after 13 years was released from prison had been to see his son. My initial reaction was to hyperventilate and flood with tears. I felt a loss like I have never felt before and could not catch my breathe. What have we done to deserve this? We love her so much and what is God trying to tell us? I am so thankful for my family...especially today. My sweet, strong and compassionate mother came to me with nothing but positive energy. She told me to continue to fight, to not lose Hope and to first and for most not take it personal and believe God is not doing me any harm. My faith is being so tested these past few months and today is no different. But as I think about what God is telling me and how big he really is, I am thinking so much clearer. There is so many things circling in my mind...maybe now Esther can meet her Dad for the first time and not have to carry around the burden of him being in prison. There are so many maybes...but one thing is clear we will continue to fight, we will continue to hope, we will continue to pray...and we will do anything we need to to make sure Esther is getting the best. Whatever God chooses...we will keep on that path.

So to finish it all up...I thank you all so much for your support and I do feel the energy you are all sending us. We love you all and keep us in your prayers and thoughts. And again first and for most keep Esther in your prayers, for a 13 year old girl I can only imagine what emotionally is going through her head.

Happy Birthday...Times Two

Well, what a wonderfully exciting day, my sweet little niece and nephew turn two. They have grown up so much in the past year and it has been so fun watching them grow into their own little personalities. We called them early this morning to sing happy birthday and at the end little "CC" yelled..."MY DAY". That is right little man it is YOUR day. We are all so excited to watch them sprout in the next year. Every time we are around them it seems they are talking more and more and getting more comfortable with us all. Each time little Cedar flashes that contagious smile and Miss Eden gives us the shy flirtatious grin, my heart is filled to the rim. We all love them so much and look forward to celebrating their growth this year. Happy Birthday my loves!

The start of something new

Today is the first day of our new blog. I always said that I would probably never have a blog, but as life seems to get more busy and a bit more complicated, it is going to be nice to let our family into our lives and what we have been doing. We appreciate everyones support with our adoption of Esther and want to thank you all by keeping you updated. So hurray for technology and I hope you enjoy our new form of communication.