A glimpse of HIS plan!

Today was truly a day that the Lord has made. We traveled very far into the village where Esther's father, sister and brother live. The siblings do not live with him, but fortunate for us they were visiting him today. The brother lives 45 minutes of drive time away from him, yet walks to see him. It takes a good 4 hours of walking to see him and he does it every weekend. Esther spent the long trip cuddled next to me in the van. I do not think she has stopped holding my hand or touching me since we have been together the last few days. Again this is just like my sweet Glacier... a big cuddler! Esther truly loves me as her mommy and everyone around us sees this. I love her so much and am having such a special time with her. Our bond has only gotten closer and our hearts are tightly woven together.

I can not explain to you how it felt to see Esther with her family and to meet them. Her sister is so beautiful and her brother is so handsome. The father was so appreciative and we exchanged many words and prayers about our journeys in life together. He is a very sweet man who loves his children very much and prays for their safety. He was returning from church and around his neck he proudly wore the cross Opa had given him on their last visit. He asked about everyone and said to tell them he loves them. He is an orphan himself and told me that because of this he has no family. but he considers us his blessing and now feel as if for the first time he has a large one. He is so connected to each and every member of my family and even called my brother by his name. He said say hello to the babies, too. I was so touched by how he has invested in learning about us all. Esther was smiling so big and I could see that she loved and missed them all so much. It was a moment for me that solidified what has taken place in this last year. We have brought together a family, that one year ago did not exist, but now is happy and can see that God is providing for them. When I talked to the father about the Minister's decision my little Esther was saddened and tearful. As much as I tell her to be strong or Mommy will cry, her emotions get the best of her and my heart breaks in pieces. We said our goodbyes and again the Glacier came out of Esther. She was hurting so much and just wanted to be left alone. Her usual self of sitting so close to me and cuddling was not there. She did not want to sit next to me and I knew she was hurting. I sat in the back and let the tears stroll down my face. I was so sad, yet much more full of an overwhelming joy. God has shown this family and now me that if you have faith in him and believe in his willingness to a bigger plan, that he will do good. I felt such heartache for my little girl and knew her heart was aching, but I gave her time and space. I have been so strong in those times of sadness when we talk and I could not muster the energy for it at this moment. What can you say in those situations and how do you explain the unexplainable. I wiped my tears after a few minutes and smiled my way through the rest of the day. We stopped for a few moments to get some snacks and I had some time to compose myself. When Esther returned to the van, she immediately sat next to me and whispered in my ear that she loves her mommy. Again, I had to get the strength to not cry. I am so like my father and my emotions are so strong. We spent the rest of the trip laughing, cuddling, and chatting about everything. It was a moment I will never forget and will hold close to my heart forever.



My love for this little girl grows deeper and deeper with each minute of the day and I am trying not to think of the moment I will leave her. This trip has sent me into a state of confusion as I am not convinced that bringing her to America is the right thing to do. She is so loved here and loves her friends and family so much. I know children are resilient, but African love for each other is so different than American and I am still not sure of Gods plan. Maybe there is a reason this is not working out. I do not know, but I am certain now that although I will fight until there is no fight, if it is not meant to be, I will always be her mommy and we will love her just as much as in America.



Please continue to keep us in your prayers and again especially our girl Esther. Her heart is so fragile right now and she will need all the love, support and strength to get through these times.