Wishing you all a Groovy New Year!

So we have a new picture of Esther and I just love how it shows her contagious smile and beautiful face. I so missed her this past holiday and there was not a minute I was not thinking of her. I know she is doing fine with Violet and Devota's family, but as my child it hurts that she is not here with us. I have been really thinking of the next step and can not wait for the new year to get back to a game plan. I have not given up and will continue to hope. This time around I promised myself not to get my hopes up, but in reality I can not do that. Still everyday I hold out hope and every night I am disappointed. Does it still consume me? Yes very much, but this year has made me stronger and I am able to go on day to day. I also sat back and felt very blessed this year for the family we do have together and all the love we have for one another. The twins are getting so big and my kids are having more fun each Christmas. Santa Claus actually wrote Glacier a letter and she is still chatting about it. It seems as everyone got their wishes. This year I had the family make wishes and stick them in ornaments so next year we can see if they have been granted. I am sure you can all guess what one of mine is. Oma and Glacier both wished for snow and on Christmas Day our houses were dusted with a beautiful light snow fall. So, it was a wonderful holiday for the Raymond's and we are now off to our annual ski vacation at the cabin. I am looking forward to the New Year and can not wait for what will happen. Keep your fingers crossed that our sweet Esther will someday be here with her family. I hope you all had a great Christmas and will have an even more fun New Years. be Safe and take care of one another. We loved every one's holiday cards and once again was reminded of what a wonderful amount of friends and family we have. Our love to all of you and HAPPY 2008!

Dear Santa, Please deliver Esther to us!

Well, the holiday is almost here and we are very excited. The kids are getting out of school on Friday and they are just besides themselves. It is kind of a sad Christmas this year as we had many dreams of our Christmas this year with our sweet Esther. But as we are learning is that things just do not always happen as you plan. We are making the best of it and will miss her each minute of the holiday season. I have had many sad moments this past week , but I know she knows we love her and that she will someday be celebrating with us in the future. I have explored the world of the blogs and have found some wonderful caring human beings that are adopting out of Ethiopia and a very caring couple who are trying from Guatemala. There have been great moments for some of them as they have gotten their referrals for a child and some very heartbreaking ones who are still waiting for immigration approval. As you understand we feel for those who are hurting as our journey down the adoption path has been far from perfect and very heartbreaking. Please send your prayers to our new friends and so they can heal as much as they can and enjoy the holiday season with some peace. I do know how it feels to not be able to be with your child on these family occasions. On the brighter side of the Raymond household, we are very excited for our time with the twins, Aunt Eve and Uncle Eric, Oma and Opa. We have been practicing our lip sync and are ready for the day. Although last night Glacier replaced me in the family band and Aunt Eve now gets to be there in my place. I did like Aunt Eve, once, but she is staring to get lower on my list. Smile...Smile! We wish you all a very Merry Christmas and we hope your New year is full of great new journeys and great Peace. We love you all and thank you again for your great support this year through our trying times. Please send out your positive thoughts to our Esther, and our prayers to those who too are missing a loved one this holiday season.

My other brother from a different mother!

Okay, so I wanted to just talk to you about another new member of our family. My parents sponsor a boy named Robert in Rwanda and are sending him to college. He holds a very special place in our hearts as he is not just a wonderful person with a lot of compassion and love, but he has been a great support for Esther and our family through the whole process. When Esther was taken off the streets he was living in the same home as she ending up in. They became great friends and he has continued to be a big brother to her. He traveled with my parents during all their past trips to visit with Esther's family and recently took me to visit the father and her siblings. He is the one I rely on the most to continue to be the rock for Esther in Rwanda. She calls him when she needs to and he is constantly reassuring her of our love and Gods plan. He has no family in Rwanda and so I asking that everyone send a little prayer for him during the holiday season. We love him very much and he is truly my new brother. The funny thing is that he reminds me a lot of Eric, except his coloring is a slight bit darker. They both have that funny personality, the caring ways towards family and the likability factor. I know that the two would get along great. So my dear brother Robert, if you are reading this, please know that I thank you so much for all you do for Esther and our family. I also want you to know how much we all love you and I think of you everyday. Stay on the right track and continue to be yourself. You truly are part of our family.

Aching but full heart...

Well, I figured that since I have a little time I better blog some. It has been crazy since we returned and we are all in the midst of getting ready for the holidays. I must say I miss Esther very much and think of her every day. It was such a wonderful trip, but now that I have had some great quality time with her it makes my heart ache even more being so far away. I spent two weeks with her loving on me and the physical contact I miss the most. everyone keeps asking me what the next step is and I ma just not sure. After the holidays I plan on writing a letter to the Prime Minister and the President of Rwanda. This may not do much for our case, but it will be another step in the process of not giving up. But my trip was very healing and it really solidified to me just how much Esther truly is part of our family. She felt like my daughter and that is something no one can take away. It is hard to explain how someone so far away and so different could feel like family, but it truly works that way. God has placed her in our hearts and we are so happy for it. Leaving her was so sad and I must say it was not my most favorite day. But I knew that soon I would be seeing my family in America, so that helped some. She cried very hard and I knew that her heart was aching. She hugged Oma so hard that day and I could see the love she truly felt for my mom. They have been through so much together and they are truly Oma and granddaughter. So today m,y heart is aching for missing Esther and I am asking everyone to continue to pray for our journey. Everyone has been so supportive and i am so thankful to you all. A few days ago I got some Christmas gifts in the mail from my cousin Todd and his family. There was a gift also for Esther. My heart was very full for now I know that she has touched our whole families lives and I feel so proud to have family that is embracing her and our new journey in life. Again thank you to all and know that she feels all the love from her extended family her in America and someday I promise she will meet you all face to face. For now I ma sitting by waiting for God to show me his plan. Until then...love to you all.