Boy am I missing Esther these past few days. I guess not a minute goes by when I do not miss her, but some days are tougher than others. I have been introduced to the world of blogs by people who are adopting and it has stirred up a different set of emotions for me. Some are adopting from Ethiopia and some are adopting from Guatemala. There are a few I visit often and I get different emotions from each one. I see some of these families so excited they will be bringing their child home soon and I am so happy for them and feel as if I am sharing in their joy. But I must admit, my heart aches each time. I know deep in my heart this is a natural feeling, but I do admit I feel guilty for feeling so blue over my heartache and not so excited for those whose dream is coming to life. I am leaving it to God, yet again it is a hard road to travel. Then there is a couple who is also going through the same sort of heartache as us. I understand their emotions more than most. I feel for my new friends and would not wish this feeling on anyone. I am just using this to vent, but with all the great things that God has given me, he is also sending me a message I still can not figure out and it is so frustrating at times. I am so blessed to have all my family and friends and am blessed to have the ability to love Esther from afar. Pleased pray for my sanity and that I too will someday be celebrating bringing my child home from Rwanda.
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We agree together with that prayer. My first time being back on your blog since the holidays & once again you were on my mind for a reason I think. Christmas was hard for us too as we feel that "missing place" for those we love who are not with us, but we press on & persevere with a faith that can not be snuffed out by dissapointments- or delay. Standing with you.
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